RIDLEY BARRON

New site

2011-08-30T11:08:00.002-05:00

The new site is fully operational now with subscription capabilities and regular updates. Thanks for checking us out here. Please drop by the new site to continue to follow.

New Site

2011-08-17T11:43:00.002-05:00

Hey friends. Thanks for stopping by to check out the blog. I'd like to invite you over to our new site. Our blog is now hosted there at the Ridley Barron Ministries website. There you can read the blog. We will have RSS capabilities soon and you can check out all the other stuff that is going on with Lisa and me. Thanks for being a follower of the blog and, as always, I welcome your thoughts on topics you'd like to hear about. Take a look and give me your thoughts. God bless!

Voice

2011-08-11T09:59:00.004-05:00

I don't think I've talked much about our family pet on here. In fact, I don't think I've mentioned him at all. His name is Tuck (named by Lisa after we first got him because of his affinity for tucking his nose into tight places and going to sleep). He is part Maltese and part Shih Tzu. Did you ever wonder where a name like Shih Tzu came from--did someone sneeze and decide that it would be a great name for a breed of dog? Ah, but that must be the cold medicine talking. Back to Tuck.

Tuck and I have a special relationship that frustrates the rest of the family. You see, like all dogs, Tuck has to be escorted into the backyard throughout the day to take care of personal matters. When others take him out, it's not unusual for them to come back in the door exasperated and sweaty from chasing Tuck into the street, the neighbor's yard, or the field behind our house.

Not so with me. In fact, when one of the kids can't get Tuck to respond, they'll often call me out to get him to come. It doesn't work all the time and occasionally he has run from me. For the most part, though, when he hears my voice, he responds. Whether it is in the house or in the yard, he knows my voice.

He's laid up in my lap right now. Tossed over on his back with all four paws up in the air, he is sound asleep. He almost looks dead. However, if I spoke right now and asked him if he wanted to go outside, I have little doubt he would stand, stretch (yoga-style) and trot to the back door.

It made me think of this verse.

³ The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. ⁵ They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.” John 10:3-5 NLT

A good measure of your relationship to anyone--including God--is how well you know their voice. My kids know when I call them from downstairs. My wife doesn't need caller ID when I call her on the phone. My dog can detect me from across the yard. And those of us who are truly following after God will learn to hear His voice whenever He speaks. Make no mistake about it, He will. I pray you are able to hear His voice when He does.

Infections

2011-08-09T10:02:00.002-05:00

I've got one of those sinus infection "thingies" going on this morning. Actually, it started yesterday and I tried to wish it away. So I got up, went for a run, finished cutting the grass and worked my way through Monday. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fight off what seemed to be inevitable. It probably wasn't helped by playing a double-header last night in the Middle Tennessee heat.

So, this morning, I find myself working from my "bed office." I can't stand it. I've always said I'd rather pull a muscle or break a finger than to have a sinus infection. They drive me crazy--raw nose and all. I think it's because when you pull a muscle, you can kind of accommodate the problem...maybe limp a little or limit your use of that part of the body. Not a sinus thing. You can't exactly stop breathing. So, the nose keeps dripping and the body keeps aching from this stupid infection.

Infections are the same no matter where they are. They can sap your energy. They can cause you to operate at half speed (or worse). And they require all the effort of the body to fight them, drawing resources from other areas.

Did you hear me say that infections are the same no matter where they are? Not just in the human body. In your organization, in your family, in your circle of friends. Infections (those people who have negative attitudes or bitter hearts) can rip your family and ravage your church. They sap the energy from the group, cause it to limp along at half speed and require resources from other areas to be concentrated on them.

No matter how hard you might wish them away, they can't be ignored. The only answer--fight them. In my case, it's fluids, anti-biotics and lots of rest. But to fight your own special "infection" you may have to have a hard conversation and stand up to the one who is bringing the organization down. The sooner, the better. Especially when it comes to my sinus "thingy."

Your story

2011-08-08T13:25:00.002-05:00

I've been reflecting on something the last few days while I was in Georgia with Lisa at my mom's house. It is truly amazing how one person's story effects others. I know that I have spent the last seven years watching as Josh's story has touched thousands of people. I am thankful that God has given me that opportunity. I've also seen how Lisa's story has impacted hundreds of women as she talks about God's grace through very difficult times. This weekend, I was thinking about how my life was touched by the countless stories of the people of Honduras.

A young, single mom who goes weeks without pay to continue to serve these orphan children. She gives and gives when she, herself, is in need of provision.

A young boy whose parents throw him down a well because he is not what they expected in a child. His mild learning disabilities "disqualify" him from being part of their family.

A 14 year old who has come to the home to be away from her family, a family that forced her into prostitution to make money for their drug habits.

A young man who stands in the mud of his village where he is raising his family of 6 in a one room hut with no electricity, no running water. He smiles with pride at me as he shows off his beautiful children.

Two questions I have to ask. What's your story? How are you using it to impact others? All of us have a story. Every day that passes, another twist in the plot unfolds. But stories aren't written to be kept on a shelf. They are shared with others to make an impact. To change the reader in such a way that the story never leaves his heart or mind. What will you do with God's story in your life? Others are watching, waiting, wanting to read. Wanting to be changed by who you are and what God is doing in the pages of your story.

A great week in Honduras

2011-08-04T18:11:00.004-05:00

It is a surreal experience riding through the Honduran countryside in a giant yellow school bus. There is absolutely no telling what your eyes will see. From the menagerie of animals alongside the road (I'm not talking about the fields beside the road. I'm talking about standing at the edge of the road) to the myriad of houses and shacks and lean-tos that dot the landscape. But this is where I found myself with my family on Tuesday.

We were wrapping up the last hours of a nine-day mission trip to the northern part of the country. I can't tell you the full impact of what I experienced last week nor can I adequately put into words how it touched my family. I can simply say we left El Progresso changed. How can you not be? I have a different understanding of many things. I reflected on them as we made our journey on Tuesday.

I know what intense poverty is. It's not having to live with basic cable; it's living without ever seeing a television. It's not having to trust in an unreliable vehicle for your daily transportation; it's walking everywhere you have to go no matter how many miles that may be. It's not relying on the government to give you food; it's going without food because the government is too poor to provide for its people. It's not your inability to pay the water bill; it's having no source of fresh water to draw from at all. I don't make these statements to down play those who live in more moderate levels of poverty. It's just to say that when someone is considered poor because they only have one TV or ride the public transportation or live in a two-room house, we are fooling ourselves.

I also learned the international need of belonging is best met with the international language of love. Like my friend, Pepe. Pepe is a 12 year old young man who lives in an orphanage just outside El Progresso. His smile could light a thousand villages and his heart overflows with love that he wants to give to somebody. For his privacy, I won't share the details behind why he was there at the home. Suffice it to say, he's there. And if it weren't for customs agents and international laws and restrictive adoption policies, he'd probably be here at my house today (at the unanimous pleading of all 6 of the Barrons). He might not be the only one.

Yes. It was a very good week. And it would be a great tragedy for me to come home and be unchanged by the faces and stories of people like Moises and Gabby, Julie and Wendy, Marvin and Luis. But a greater tragedy would be if I failed to tell you that they exist--along with billions of others like them on the planet. And you and I can make a difference. It might be by giving. It might be by going. You choose. But to ignore the "least of the little ones" as my grandmother used to call them, would be a sin in the greatest of proportions.

Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world. James 1:26-27 the Message

Here we come..

2011-07-25T18:07:00.002-05:00

The final articles of clothing are being tucked away in the suitcases and we've double-checked our passports and our backpacks for the necessary items. There is a huge sense of excitement around the Barron household today as we get ready for our first--and I hope its the first of many--family mission trip. That's right. All six of the Barrons will be headed out with other team members from our church to Honduras. For the next several days we will be serving alongside each other in an orphanage and a small village of under-resourced families.

I'm telling you this for three reasons. First, we covet your prayers as our team loads up and heads south tomorrow morning. Pray for us as we serve this week and as we return at the end of the trip. We'll need strength and health and energy. Most of all, I want all of us to be a pure reflection of Jesus as we go. I want us to love the Honduran people as we minister to them and with them this week.

Secondly, I imagine you'l hear some about this trip when we get back. I'll have much to say so I'm giving you advanced warning about where we are going and what it is we are doing.

Third, I mentioned that I'd love for this to become a tradition for our family, even as our kids get older and have children of their own. Wouldn't that be a cool way to pass along the love of Christ to your family--to serve alongside them as you act out Christ's love for the world? So I mentioned it so you could pray about the idea as well. Maybe God would lead you to take your family, a group of your friends or some co-workers to serve some place where there is a need. It doesn't have to be around the world. It could be across town. I'm pretty confident that God would love your willing heart. I'm even more confident that, no matter where you live, there are abundant needs that you could help meet. Give it some thought. Better yet, give it some prayer.

Here's a bonus reason. If you're my neighbor, don't forget to keep an eye on my house while I'm gone. If there is a really crazy party going on, it's not me.

They get it

2011-07-22T11:30:00.002-05:00

In the speaking that I do for healthcare professionals, I work to encourage and challenge them on the quality of care and the safety they provide to their patients. One of the things that has become very apparent to me is the importance of remembering one simple but significant fact--we are all people. We (neither the medical professional nor their patient) are not numbers or statistics or cases or events. We are people. When a tragedy strikes in a hospital, people from both sides of the bed are impacted. There are victims in all corners of the "room." I think coming back to this simple truth is a huge first-step in changing the way healthcare--and life in general--are done.

So, I love it when I see an organization or a wing of a hospital or a team of professionals or an average family that gets it. And I love to applaud them when they do. This week was just one example of a group of people understanding how important it is that we treat each other with compassion.

Lisa and I were with the associates of Christus Spohn Health System in Corpus Christi, Texas. They are a wonderful group of people who are, honestly, trying to bounce back from a rough period in their recent history. I think they are making incredible progress and, based on what I heard this week, will rebuild the trust and quality that they are desiring for an organization. In our time together, they shared "Mission Moments"--highlights of moments in their six hospitals that capture the heart of their mission. Let me share one with you that should remind ALL of us what it means to love others.

They had a patient who was to be terminally extubated--a fancy way of saying that the lady was approaching the end of life and the tube keeping her alive was to be removed. As fate would have it, her husband of 62 years was a patient on the second floor of the same hospital. One very in-tune nurse made the connection between the two and put a plan into motion. This hospital has one particular room with an amazing ocean view--the kind you would pay top dollar for in a local hotel. It actually was the room next to the gentleman's and was empty on this particular day. The nurse got with his team and made arrangements for the couple to be brought into the room for their last moments together. Their beds were arranged so that the two could look each other in the fac --one's head at the other's feet--as the last few minutes of their life together passed. Family was brought in. Pictures were taken. Memories were made. And, as one patient's life came to an end, another's was filled with some final memories that would have never happened if not for this nurse and his team.

Life is fragile. And it is filled with plenty of challenges and changes. We can't avoid them or ignore them. What we can do is empower each other to traverse these rough patches in our journey by bearing them--the pain, the sorrow, the loss and the grief--together.

Self-control (for men)

2011-07-14T16:45:00.005-05:00

Peter and Paul both wrote about self-control a pretty good bit in the Bible. In their letters, they encouraged readers to pursue self-control and teach others to seek the same fruit for themselves. I've been thinking about that throughout today as I've contemplated the significance of that trait, especially for men.

In a world looking for role models that are worth following, self-control seems to be a disappearing trait. I think that's the reason why the sports page looks like a police report these days. It is why men struggle with secret sins or failed attempts at greatness. What can't be controlled cannot be used for good. And, for many men, the desires of self are the greatest obstacles we face as we strive to be what God created us to be.

It is our desire that drives us to bitterness, rage, lust and war. It is our desire that keeps us from realizing the dream of family, relationships, careers and commitment. Stephen Covey once wrote,

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage--pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically--to say 'no' to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside. The enemy of the 'best' is often the 'good.'

Self-control is the art of deciding what is most important for you and allowing nothing to keep you from fulfilling that dream in you. If I want to commit to my marriage and it is the most important thing for me, then other women, my career or my fantasies will not force me to become distracted. That means I am willing to take whatever steps, whatever measures necessary to avoid the traps of "good" when "best" awaits me.

Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." (My translation: I've come to take your good and turn it into my best)

Guys, we've become distracted. Dare I say out of control? At a time when our families need us, our kids are looking for direction and our culture is eroding away, we've convinced ourselves that our self-worth (and, therefore, our purpose) is found in money, power, prestige, popularity and comfort. Nothing could be further from the truth. Guys, don't fall prey to the distractions of this world. Money disappears. Power is fleeting. Prestige only lasts as long as you have the attention of a world with A.D.D. Nothing will satisfy you more than the pursuit of God and His Kingdom. That pursuit cannot happen without self-control.

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. 1 Peter 5:8-11 The Message

Good knees

2011-07-13T15:24:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year again. Around the first of the summer, I dust off the glove and try to coax my body back into playing shape for softball. We're about three weeks into our season and I must tell you there are parts of my body that I didn't even know could hurt this bad. For as long as I have played sports, I've played with one style--get as dirty as you can. By the end of last week's games, I looked like the old "Pig Pen" character from Charlie Brown. I was covered head to toe with the dirt from dives and tumbles. Lisa even hosed me down on the back porch before she let me inside.

So, by Tuesday morning (and even still today) my body was screaming--"Hey, I'm almost 44 years old, you goofball. Take better care of me!!" Joints creak. Muscles are as tight as they can be. It takes me about 30 seconds to straighten my back every time I sit for longer than 15 minutes. I love it! Yeah, I'm tired of the aches and pains...but I'll be right back in the dirt of my shortstop position next Monday night. And there's a good chance I'll be sore by Tuesday morning.

Then I read this passage in the Bible this morning.

Therefore God exalted [Jesus] to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:9-11

I had a funny thought when I got to that bold-faced part. That includes me. It says every knee will bow. Every knee! And it doesn't say one thing about struggling to get back up...or creaks and groans...or pains associated with bending joints that are worn out! I'll bow. Just like every one else. Isn't that cool? This old body won't need dusting off any more. I'll get a new one. With it, I will worship alongside people from every nation and tribe and race...and I'll smile as I kneel on knees that are pain-free.

I told you so

2011-07-11T10:00:00.003-05:00

Don't you just hate when someone says, "I told you so?" The implication is that they were right and you were wrong, that you somehow missed the mark with your information. Even worse, it shouts, "If you had only listened to me, I could have saved you a whole lot of heartache."

I've heard that phrase over the years in a ton of different settings. My older sisters used it on me at an early age as the sibling rivalry heated up around our home. Friends would use it at school as we would debate the important things of life--"Could Mark really down two chocolate milks in less than 30 seconds without puking in the lunchroom?" There were parents, coaches, teachers, professors--all who shared their knowledge with me and then reminded me how wise they truly were with the phrase. I've used it myself more times than I would probably care to admit. It can be annoying, especially if the end result of our ignorance is a costly embarrassment.

So, imagine my surprise this morning when I found someone else using it--someone I really wouldn't have expected. Jesus.

See, I have told you ahead of time. Matthew 24:25 NIV

Okay, he didn't use the exact phrase. And I'm quite sure that Jesus wasn't trying to boost His self-confidence by proving His point. He had just shared His description of future generations, specifically those that would be a part of end time events. Just before He warns us about others who would try to lead us astray with false claims, He tells His disciples, "See, I have told you..."

Let's be honest. This isn't the only thing that God has told us. His word is filled with encouragements, warnings, teachings and principles for living. The problem for us, for our world, is that we have simply chosen not to listen. The embarrassment is ours because we choose to ignore the wisdom. The truth is you and I can't really ever look at God and ask, "Why didn't I know this? Why didn't you tell us it would be this way?"

I think He will simply say, "I told you so."

Real men...

2011-07-08T11:51:00.003-05:00

I just wrapped a great time with a friend of mine this morning. It was actually supposed to be a golf game but God had other things in mind. So, we chatted over a breakfast sandwich and bottle of water. This guy is a true friend and brother of mine and, as we are prone to do when we are together, our conversation turned to our personal faith journeys.

We started talking about the challenges of being a man in this culture. Let me be perfectly clear. Brian and I agree that being a pure man in this culture is stinking hard. Every where you turn, you are slammed with images of women who are half-dressed (if you're lucky). It's on TV, in magazines and papers, at the movies and...on the pew next to you at church.

I don't believe this is by accident. I was talking with a lady yesterday who was expressing how much she desired her husband to be a leader for her family, a spiritual leader. Any good enemy knows that the best way to destroy your foe is to take out the leader. That's exactly what happens when men compromise their purity by taking just one more look, a lingering gaze, a second trip through the website or justifying what they watch with "it's just part of the show." What happens--whether we want to admit it or not--is that guilt comes in. Guilt keeps us from leading and leaderless families exist in a state of chaos.

You can list a 1000 problems our country faces (most of which I would agree are problems). They include a sense of entitlement, poor work ethic, lack of respect, loss of integrity, drop in education, too much debt, too little income and not enough common sense. Strangely enough, I believe that the core of most of these problems can be traced back to homes where dad just isn't getting it done as a leader. Here is the thing that may shock some of you. I believe most of these dads want to provide for and protect their families. They want to lead. They want to do the right thing. They just don't feel competent.

The media has emasculated most dads by making them look like buffoons on sitcoms. The education system has become more about teaching to a test rather than teaching people how to be life-long learners. Technology and convenience have removed most men from the accountability and mentorship of wiser, older men. We are throwing young men to the dogs and then scratching our heads when they don't come back as 5-star fathers. Here is what you can do to stem the tide:

Pray for the men in your life. Soldiers die protecting their leaders. We should be willing to do the same for the men (husbands, fathers, brothers, Congressmen, Presidents) in our lives.
Encourage these men to seek the counsel and accountability of others. Do not let them isolate themselves from other men. We need that fellowship.
Help your men "purify" the culture in which they live. Throw out the bad influences. Eliminate the temptations. Applaud them when they do the same and encourage them when they are struggling.
Be good followers. Whether its your father (who deserves your respect no matter how old you are) or your husband (who longs to fulfill a role he has probably been ill prepared for) or your pastor, don't follow him without questions. Follow him with integrity. You'll learn the difference.

Men, here is my challenge to you. Demand purity...for yourself and all those who surround you. Sink yourself into the only handbook ever written for how to life life on this earth--the Bible. Trust yourself completely to the fellowship of other guys who long to do the same. Be courageous. Following Christ is not for the faint of heart. There is no room for sissies!!

The Art of Encouragement

2011-07-05T10:18:00.004-05:00

I learned the fine art of a cut down early in life. I learned it from some of the best. Like many of you, I cut my teeth on sarcasm in elementary school--an occasional jab here, a nice slam there. All of us would play to the crowd. The more "oohs" we got, the more important it was that we come back with another good one.

Then there were the TV shows. One of my favorite was "Welcome Back, Kotter." It was a story of a young man who returns to his old neighborhood to become a teacher. The class room became a testing ground for some of the best "slams" ever heard to mankind at that point. "You're so ugly..." or "You're so short..." became standard fair in our playground chatter or our lunchroom battles.

The sad thing is, many of us never grew out of that mentality--cutting others down so we could feel better about ourselves. Sure, we've grown up to more "adult" phrases. Our "You're so short..." has progressed to "You'll never guess what they did." But it's a put down nonetheless and it's sole purpose is elevating ourselves at the expense of others. It's good for a few laughs and many people can take it without letting it get personal. But as I watch another generation of kids grow up with "Yo mama" jokes and similar slams, I wonder how far removed we can become from what God intended us to treat each other like.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up... 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

I love a good laugh just like anyone else. But I also remember the times I've been on the receiving end of hurtful jabs. Like most of you, I laugh it off and pretend to move on. But words can sting and wound the soul. How much better would our lives be if we could find the lost of art encouragement again--if we could rediscover that ability to lift others with our words and encourage them to face another day? There is enough in this life to put us down and keep us there. There is no challenge in joining the crowd when it comes to belittling others. Learning to use our words as gifts that bring healing is an art worth rediscovering and one that should be applauded in others when we see it taking place. I hope you hear the words of encouragement you need today.

Pursuing a dream

2011-06-30T11:47:00.003-05:00

My family has gotten caught up in this summer's version of the "America's Got Talent" TV show. If you have never seen the show, you should give it a try some time. I find that we watch just to see the crazy things people will do for their 15 seconds of fame. Believe me, some of the acts border on the line of true insanity. It's a hoot!!

Last night's episode was much of the same thing. Every thing from magic tricks to dance teams to attempts at singing filled the hour long show. But one of the first auditions of the night caught my attention because it was a little different.

The lady was a 42 year old singer. She had always dreamed of being a singer but her parents had basically told her "no" all of her life. Others came along and reinforced the message. When she took her first voice lesson in her late 20s, the instructor even told her that it was much too late for her (hope she got her money back). Everyone watching was prepared for the worst. Let's face it, when mom and dad tell you no, there is probably a good reason for it.

This lady silenced the place with her incredible voice. Even though I'm not a fan of opera, I was as floored as the crowd was at the event. While she sang, no one made a sound. Even the judges were blown away and joined the standing ovation as the final notes drifted to the floor. It was beautiful...and the emotions that spilled forth from that little lady as the applause thundered told a beautiful story.

It made me think of millions of others like her who never have the courage to chase their dream. They spend more time listening to the chorus of voices telling them they will never be good enough. Even the ones who should be on our side can turn against us and stand in our way as we pursue the dream. For many, that is where it ends. The dream fizzles. The passion fades. Our voices never sing one note of one chorus.

Now, I'm not advising you to ignore good wisdom. The counsel of wise friends has saved me from embarrassment more times than I can remember. But when God gives you the dream--when it is clearly His voice that issues the call--don't let anything keep you from pursuing it. This world would be a far different place if not for the men and women who refused to listen to the crowd and chose to follow His voice. At the end of the day--no, at the end of every day--we perform for an audience of One. I can assure you that no matter what the sound is that comes from your life, He stands over you and applauds you--not because of what you've done but because of His deep love for you.

Kingdom

2011-06-29T11:35:00.003-05:00

I was eight years old the first time I got to visit the Magic Kingdom. I will never forget what that experience was like. Just like millions of other kids who have walked through those gates, I thought I had found the perfect place.

But the weeks leading up to that visit were like a young child's personal hell. I was convinced that someone had fooled with every clock and calendar around my house. There was no way it should be taking this long for the days to pass. With each day's end, I would mark one more day off, bursting in anticipation of what this World would be like. I had heard the stories from friends and family. I had seen the brochures and was a regular watcher of "Wonderful World of Disney" each week. Heck, I even knew the names of most of the Mouseketeers.

So, when the day came, I was sick to my stomach with excitement. You can imagine me standing on my tiptoes trying to see through the crowded monorail car, yearning for that first look at the Kingdom. It was stinking awesome!!

Now, would you think I was crazy if I told you that I got to the gate, after all that waiting and anticipation, and returned home without going in? You would think to yourself, "What!? Are you insane? You missed the best parts." And you'd be right.

I feel like many people today have that kind of experience with God. Most of us know "about" Him. We've heard the stories and the confessions of others who have experienced Him personally. But do we ever really enter the Kingdom? Do we ever go beyond this casual affirmation that He is there so that we can have a relationship with Him like He desires?

Look, if I hadn't gone deeper into the Kingdom, I would have never known what I missed. I would not have comprehended what it was like to ride Space Mountain. I would have never gotten my "real, authentic musket" from Pirates of the Caribbean (yes, there was a ride long before there was a movie). Most of all, I would have never known what all the Kingdom excitement was about. If you don't really know God or you can't say your relationship with Him is exciting, dangerous, or adventurous...I'd submit to you that you haven't gone deep enough. There is a whole big world awaiting you just inside the gates. You just have to be willing to enter in without hesitation.

People

2011-06-28T16:38:00.003-05:00

What we are doing (Lisa and I) through Ridley Barron Ministries is about people. That may seem like such an obvious statement. Maybe it is to everyone else but me. I was giving that some thought today.

Like most of you, I hate customer service calls. Why? Because no one wants to treat you like a person any more. It is about customer numbers and quotas and bottom lines. Racing through life gets lonely because we forget that the most important thing we share is not space nor oxygen nor natural resources...it is the "humanness" we hold in common.

So one of the things we are trying to do is put up this big flashing sign over everything we do that says, "After all, we are just human." The health care provider that makes a mistake leading to an adverse event? A human who needs healing and compassion. (Read this)

The couple who finds themselves at each other's throat and at the end of their rope? Humans who simply need encouragement in their journey.

The sick child, the overworked CEO, the confused teen and the out of work breadwinner? They...we...are all humans who need to feel the love and compassion of others in our own breed. God help us if we never get to the point where we can see each other as people again. People who have emotions, fears, dreams and families. People who simply want to be treated like people. It is in finding community again that we learn that "they" are no different than "we"--despite their position or their skin color or their status or language. When we understand this--live this--the world becomes a better place...for all people.

Hope

2011-06-24T10:36:00.003-05:00

¹³ Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT

I have often defined the word "hope" as "the belief that tomorrow is worth getting up for." It is that perception that the next minute--the next breath of our lives--contains possibility. Love is essential to all that we are and do but, as one author has put it, it is the soil of hope that allows love to grow.

Between wanting something and having something there is the potential for a multitude of feelings. We can allow past disappointments to keep us from seeing the potential of the future. This leads to despair and discouragement. We can allow fear to creep in. Fear freezes us in our tracks and keeps us from living life to the fullest. That's why Scripture says that perfect love drives out fear. Perfect love frees us to live without the dark shadows of fear. Finally, there is hope. Hope is connected to faith. Without faith, we cannot find hope in the trying times. Lack of faith makes it awfully hard for us to see the "light at the end of the tunnel." But misplaced faith is as bad (or worse) than having no hope. Faith must be found in God.

Hope is what Ridley Barron Ministries is built on. That's why Lisa and I have chosen to do what we do. Our belief is that the soul that is given new hope can face life with greater purpose and reach the full abundance that Christ promised each of us (John 10:10). We want to bring hope to those who have experienced life changing tragedies or world-rocking challenges. Our hope is to bring others hope. In so doing, my prayer is that many will come to believe that there is great possibility in the next hour, their next relationship, their next opportunity. That hope is found in a changeless God who has given Lisa and I both the promise that tomorrow is worth living.

Hope. Healing. Forgiveness. Because tomorrow is worth living.

Take a deep breath

2011-06-22T10:42:00.003-05:00

God's timing is always good. That doesn't mean we will always like it, but it is always good. Several months ago, two of our very good friends approached us at church one Sunday morning with a gift. He had won a get away for two in a golf tournament. After praying with his wife, the two of them felt led to give it to us as a gift. They insisted we take it and made us promise we would use it. (Just to prove how good God is, he played in the same tournament this year and won the same, exact getaway again. Just proves you can't out give God). So, Lisa brought home the certificate and scheduled our time away. It began yesterday, just a few days after my doctor told me to get away from my stress. Great timing!

I thought about that this morning as Lisa and I were hiking through the beautiful surroundings. It was raining but it mattered very little to either of us. The sound of the gentle drops as they sprinkled into the canopy of trees was relaxing. The hills weren't so much. But I loved every minute of it.

I got to the top of one of the rises and took a deep breath. The fresh air filling my lungs was amazing. I turned to Lisa and said, "You know, it's a cool feeling when you get to the top of one of these hills and take a deep breath. It's like saying, 'Hey, cool, I made it without stopping.'"

Lisa laughed and replied, "It's a lot like life isn't it?"

So true. It is like life. There is a unique feeling when you tackle that next hill and take a second to relax and catch your breath. That's what these three days are for us. A chance to catch our breath and thank God for what he has done and look with anticipation towards what is next.

The danger is when you forget to take a breath and you charge headlong into the next hill. That's our tendency as humans, especially those of the American variety. Don't stop, don't even slow down. Someone may take your place in line or get a half-step ahead of you. Here is the exciting news. We all finish at the same line. What matters is not how much you get done before you reach that line but Who you serve in getting there. God set the example for us in the beginning; Jesus followed suit in his time here on earth. There is a time for work (six days God worked in creation) and a time for climbing (Jesus ministering to thousands) but rest must be a part of who we are and what we do on a regular basis. When else will we take the time to celebrate the victories, the hills climbed and the blessings of God?

Pardon me if I don't answer my phone. I taking my next breath.

Not me?!

2011-06-21T09:48:00.002-05:00

What could make a grown man cry standing in the "Home" section of a Super Walmart? Strange things happen when someone is faced, once again, with their mortality. Let me explain.

Last week I was in Columbus, Georgia hanging out with my mom. I had taken our two youngest children, Abby and Landon, so they could see their grandmother and so I'd have a little company for the long ride. They had been patiently a part of the process all day Wednesday as we ran errands with mom and helped her take care of some necessary things. So, to reward them and me, we went to a movie at a discount show on Wednesday night--"Diary of a Wimpy Kid: part 2." (No, that's not the reason for my aforementioned tears). Somewhere about the 30 minute mark in the movie, I started having a chest pain. I chalked it up to a little too much gravy in my home cooked meal and continued to enjoy the movie. By the time the credits rolled, the pain was more intense and very consistent. I kept trying to shrug it off but I also knew my family's history with their heart.

We left the movie and went to Walmart. We were simply going to run in and grab a few things that I needed for mom's house (I usually do a little maintenance and upkeep on the place when I go down to visit). The pain intensified and so did my concern. By the time we reached the store, I was more than just a little afraid. Trying to find a place to call my sister for her help (she lives in Columbus) without alarming the girls, I asked them to sit in the car and let me just run in.

Standing between the air filters and the light bulbs, I had a very passionate prayer time with God. All I could think of was me having a heart attack in housewares while my daughters sat in the truck, oblivious to what was going on. I began to cry. I retreated further into the housewares department so I could talk with my sister and so the other customers wouldn't worry about the strange man in the paint aisle.

Long story short, Harriet (my sister) and I went to the ER with my nephew, Carter. EKGs were fine. Wait time was not. They immediately did the EKG and asked me to wait to see a doctor. Two and a half hours (yes, it was almost 1 a.m.) and four ambulance arrivals later I left, much to Lisa's disdain. My thinking was that they were obviously not too concerned so I guess I shouldn't be. Final prognosis with my personal physician was my ticker is great, I was just a little too stressed. Too many changes happening too fast and I needed to ramp up my coping mechanisms. You gotta love it when your doctor's prescription is, "You need to play a little more golf and spend a little more time at the pool."

I'm okay now. I guess, honestly, I was okay then. But the whole event puts things into perspective for me---again. Standing in that Walmart that night, I was faced with the reality of my own mortality in ways we don't like to be. In similar ways to April, 2004 when my wife and son were taken from me. When you're wondering what will happen to your wife and kids if something happens to you, the light bulbs suddenly don't matter as much. I'm thankful it was nothing serious this time, but as I have challenged you all before, don't take for granted the half-seconds of life that we have been given. One half of a second changed my world seven years ago when three guys ran a stop sign. One half of a second almost changed the world of my family Wednesday night. I hope you prayerfully consider how you spend every half second you are given. Once they are gone, they will never be recaptured.

Got to run now. Time for granola and vitamins and exercise. I've got a trillion half seconds ahead of me and I don't want to "miss" them because I didn't take care of myself.

Daddy

2011-06-19T23:10:00.004-05:00

It's been another great Father's Day around the Barron household. Nothing crazy or extreme (which is how I like it since our family tends to be going 90 mph most of the time). We got up, went to church, had Po' Boy sandwiches (Lisa-style) for lunch, spent a little bit of time by the pool and then hung out at the house. I love my life. I love my kids. I love being a daddy.

The day started with an interesting question from Lisa. We had just finished our morning prayer time. We were laying in the bed chatting in those last few minutes before we had to get up and get going.

"Rid..."

When Lisa starts a sentence like that, I know something good is about to come out. Usually its some great thought or a thought-provoking question. This morning it was this question. "What are your three best memories of your dad...not counting him being the biggest fan at all your ballgames growing up?"

For those who are newer to my blog, my dad passed away in February, 2004--just two months before the accident that took my wife and son. He was, indeed, one of my biggest fans (along with my mom) from the moment I stepped onto my first playing field at age 7. Her question got my head to thinking. With just a few words, Lisa had opened a flood gate of feelings and emotions that I had not thought about in many months.

I didn't realize how much I missed my dad. I shared my first two thoughts (actually, I cheated and rattled off about 6 or 7), then I paused. The last one was one of my favorite and I had purposely saved it to bring up the rear.

I've always been an early riser, even as a kid. Many mornings, I would get up early and cross the hall at our house in Columbus, Georgia. Daddy would have already shaved and crawled back into bed next to mom. I would slip around to his side of the bed and crawl in underneath the sheets. There, in the last minutes before the sun would crash through his window, daddy and I would lay and listen to "Cousin Al." (Cousin Al was a local radio personality on the AM dial who played country music, talked about RC Colas and moon pies and spun his own brand of homespun humor.). But as I recounted the memory to Lisa, I was pushed back in my mind to those mornings long ago. The warmth of my daddy as he put his huge arm around my shoulders. The smell of his after-shave as it cascaded around the pillow and sheets. Mom laughing at the two of us as we cackled at Al's goofy sense of humor.

I was a very blessed kid. I guess I still am. Do you really ever outgrow the positive impact of the people who mean the most to you growing up--moms and dads, teachers and coaches, grandparents? I know that, even 7 years after he has gone, my daddy still holds a powerful place in my heart and mind.

My prayer of thanks goes out today for all of those men who today hold the "daddy" role for someone. Not all of you are "fathers" but many of you are "daddies" in the truest sense of the word. And my prayer also goes out to so many who never knew their dad or never had the positive influence of a loving daddy in their life. I pray you may come to know the love of the best Father, indeed, the only Father who can love you purely.

Hard

2011-06-17T15:55:00.002-05:00

There are some days (much like this one today) where it seems like life is just a little harder than others. Things pile up. Schedules don't work out. Even the simplest of things turns out to be not so simple.

I've had two doctor's appointments, some news that hit me from the blind-side and some really poor customer service from a couple of places today. Needless to say, I've spent more time on the phone than I have on my work. The part that really aggravates me is that I always get off the phone from these conversations feeling like I am the reason there is a problem even when it's their product that didn't do what was promised. Funny how that happens, huh?

I caught myself day-dreaming. I was simply wondering what the best method of therapy is when you get in these situations. How do you talk yourself into being loving to the guy on the other end of the phone? How do you remain calm when you look at your agenda and the list has only gotten longer the harder you've worked?

Jesus answered such "demands" throughout his time here. But he always had a good solution for the pressures--he got away. He disconnected. He allowed himself the privilege of stepping away. Therein lies our problem. In this world where we are always "on" it's increasingly impossible to step away. Between the cell phones and the i-Pads, the e-mails and the Tweets, there has to be a place to unplug from the demands and power down for a little while. Jesus knew it and he modeled it for us.

Take a look at this example. Jesus' cousin, John the Baptist, has just been beheaded. John's followers have taken his body to be buried and have shared the awful news with Jesus. Jesus responds by getting away, retreating to a solitary place. Maybe it's time for you...and me..to do the same.

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. Matthew 14:13

Words Worth Sharing

2011-06-15T07:54:00.003-05:00

I know my blogs have been infrequent lately. There are a couple of reasons why. First, our schedule has been completely out of whack. With the transition from my church office (after 7 years on staff) to home, there have been many hours of cleaning, organizing and "waste management" as I filtered through my files. This has been a hit-and-miss project between trips and family responsibilities.

The other reason is probably the larger one. I've just been at a loss for words (some of you might be shaking your head in disbelief right now). But it's not a loss in the sense that I don't have anything at all to say. Oh, I could definitely write something. But when I began this blog several years ago, I committed not to write just for the sake of writing. I wanted to be sure that the feelings and thoughts that are shared here are worth your reading them. At points, it's caused me to have long lulls in my blogging. At other points, it's caused me to question whether or not it was time to drop the blog all together. At the risk of writing just to be writing, I won't carry on about it. I just thought it was a good time to let you know where I've been blog-wise. God is teaching me some really cool things through my personal study and the activity at Ridley Barron Ministries with our traveling and speaking has been very encouraging. Now, I'll just have to find time to pause and reflect. Then maybe I'll find some words worth sharing.

Hope it will be worth the wait...

The incredible choice to forgive

2011-06-07T10:02:00.003-05:00

It is not unusual for me to start up my e-mail these days and find that I have a new friend, someone who is reaching out for comfort or encouragement after their own tragic circumstances. I love that God has given me those opportunities. I only pray that I am able to "handle" them with His wisdom and His compassion. Today, it happened again. A young lady was asking about her own personal pain after losing a family member. She asked about God's will and about her desire to question God. Let me share a brief part of what I shared with her. I think it's a good reminder of how big and strong God can be for us in even the most difficult situations.

Let me start by saying I am very sorry for your loss. I want to encourage you with a few things. First, you need to understand that God may or may not have chosen to cause this accident. More likely, He didn't and what caused it was simply excess water on the road. Could He have stopped this from occurring? Absolutely. But, with the foreknowledge He had, God saw the potential of good that could come from this accident. I know that's hard to comprehend when its our family member but it is true nonetheless. There is potential for great good to come from any tragic loss (Romans 8:28). What determines that is our willingness to join God in what He is up to and our ability to embrace and offer forgiveness and move on.

Secondly, scream at God all you choose. It will not bother Him. He understands the level of your hurt and disappointment. He knows the raw emotions you have. He is not afraid of your "ranting." If you read the Bible carefully, you will see that many people in the Bible asked God questions (David, Moses, Job). The point is, if you are going to question God, you better be ready to hear the answers He has for you.

Lastly, remember this very important lesson for all of your life. Forgiveness, like love, is not an emotion. It is a decision. It is something you will have to choose every day for the rest of your life and, with time, it will get easier if you do it every day. There are days you will wake up and not want to forgive because of the emotions that you feel. That's okay. Choose to do it any way. Don't let bitterness in. It is a poison that kills no one but you.

Understand this, God has very big, very incredible plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 3:20) but you will NEVER know them until you choose to forgive and surrender every part of your life to what He is attempting to do in you and for you.

I can't tell you how much I love talking about forgiveness. There is such freedom when you and I can give and receive forgiveness. The receiving part is easier (notice I said easier. It's not always easy). Most of us love to be forgiven. But giving forgiveness to someone who has wronged us or has taken our loved ones life or has chosen poorly can be far more difficult. But I assure you, the rewards are equally--maybe even more--satisfying.

Blessed

2011-06-06T17:32:00.002-05:00

Lisa and I returned last night from a quick trip out of town with our board of directors. It really doesn't seem right to call them a board. Pardon the pun but it seems a little too stiff (get it? board? stiff?) We had such an amazing time with this group as we prayed, planned, and dreamed about the future of where our ministry is taking us. I'm thankful for each of these people and what they mean to us--past, present and future.

We also had the privilege of worshipping with the Orchard Church down in Ellijay, Georgia. What a great group of people! Pastor Steve and his group there at the Orchard were a pleasure to be with Sunday morning. There hearts are hungry and, even in the brief time we were with Steve and his wife Sherry, it is easy to see that they are leading this group in an amazing way.

We came home to be greeted by four very tired teens. All of them have been at camp this week. I can't tell you how incredible it was to hear each of their stories as they shared what God was teaching them and what He had shown them this week. It's such an encouragement as a dad as you pray and teach and guide and direct them. There are days you want to scream because you don't think they'll ever get it. Those are the days that I am reminded that I have caused my share of screams in past years. (I know you are shocked to find that I've not always been an angel). I am also reminded of the patience of a loving God. Man, the things He has to put up with from me as He patiently waits for me to "get it." In many instances, He is still waiting.

I am thankful for the life God has blessed me with. The weekend as a whole reminded me how blessed I am: the company of friends at our retreat, the heart of like-minded followers of Christ as worshipped together, the love of family. I am also reminded that this life I'm given is not for my benefit or my fulfillment. If I ever try to find my purpose in "things" I'll only be disappointed. People and plans will disappoint me at some point, some more frequently than others. It's only by staying focused on what God has in store that I can know true contentment in all things.

The Remarkable Story of Sidd Finch

2011-06-02T13:59:00.003-05:00

In 1985, Sports Illustrated broke the story of a young man by the name of Hayden Sidd Finch. The 28-year old Mets rookie became an overnight sensation before he had ever thrown a single pitch. The focus of all the attention was Finch's eccentric lifestyle and his ability to top out his pitches at speeds of close to 170 miles an hour. Absolutely unheard of at that point. In fact, the fastest pitches on record before Finch's arrival were Nolan Ryan and Goose Gossage at 103 mph--a full 65 mph slower.

Upon the release of the story, the sports world was ablaze...as was my circle of "experts" in my hometown. Immediately the conversation began as to what the rest of the baseball world would do to keep up. My friends were talking about things like the human eye's ability to "catch up" to a ball thrown that fast and whether or not the standard wooden bat could withstand such an impact if they ever did. I even had friends wondering how much a ticket to Finch's first game would cost.

It was all useless conversation. Finch never pitched a single pitch in the major leagues for New York. In fact, he never threw a pitch at all. You see, Sidd was the product of a baseball writer's imagination. The article was released on April 1, 1985 as part of an April Fool's gag by the magazine. And we bought every bit of the lie. Oh, how we bought it!

Did you know that lies are the number one weapon of Satan? He used a lie to trick Adam and Even in the garden; he has been up to it ever since. Noah, Moses, Abraham, David and many other great heroes of the Bible were victims of the lies. We are too. We hear him when he tells us we aren't good enough. We buy the lie when he tells us that no one loves us. He convinces us with the twisting of truth and sways us into believing that our secrets will never hurt anyone else. Before long, he has us talking and worrying and debating the "facts" of something that was never true in the first place. The end result? Lives that are a mess. We live at a frantic pace to fulfill the lie when God says that the truth is what sets us free. Lies entangle and bind; Jesus alone sets us free to live life to the fullest.

Finch's life "story" created quite a response...one that was completely based on a lie. My hope is that our lives are always built on the truth. Truth that is found in God's great love for us as it is revealed in the Bible. Don't buy the lie. You'll just feel like a fool.

Tough assignments

2011-06-01T16:52:00.003-05:00

At some point, we all have tough assignments. It's the nature of life. Maybe it's telling a friend something that might disappoint them. Or, you might be a boss who has to let an employee go or tell them they didn't get the job. I can tell you the first few times you have to break your child's bad habits by disciplining them, it is no easy task.

I was reading this afternoon the story of David and Nathan. Here's a little background for the less familiar. David is king of Israel. But he has committed an awful sin against God by sleeping with another man's wife and then having the man killed, trying to cover up his sin. Nathan is one of David's prophets and a trusted advisor. In 2 Samuel 12:1, we read this:

The Lord sent Nathan to David.

Can you imagine the butterflies in Nathan's stomach? After all, he is just a prophet and David is the king over all of Israel. With one word and no explanation, David could have Nathan executed and his family put in prison. Nathan has one of those extremely tough assignments. He must confront the king with his sin.

I thought back seven years to a phone call I received on an April morning. The nurse that day must have drawn the short straw. Can you imagine the conversations that took place that day in the hallways of that hospital? I'm sure when the bad news got out about my son's over medication, there was no rush of volunteers to pick up the phone and be the one to deliver the news. But it had to be done. Someone had to make the call.

One of the things that I'm learning in my travels is that no one relishes that assignment. Health care is no different than ministry; ministry is no different than friendship. No one wants to be the bearer of the difficult news. I guess that's why "total disclosure" has become such a hot topic among medical professionals. But it's not a new subject. Long ago, God gave us wisdom on how to handle these tough assignments. His words of wisdom go something like this:

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6 NIV

The lesson Proverbs is trying to teach us is this. The successful delivery of "tough words" is not determined on the who or the how but on the strength of the relationship before the conversation takes place. Whether its ministry or parenting or health care, tough words are best delivered on the back of a relationship that has been invested in. When you and I keep short accounts with those we know--when we build trust and dependability in the long run--we will be better prepared for tough words to be said and heard the day bad news arrives.

Wonder

2011-05-31T18:23:00.002-05:00

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Romans 1:20 New Living Translation

With the warmer temperatures and the break in the spring storms, I've found myself outside a bit more the last few days. It started early yesterday as I took the dog for his morning romp in the wet grass. As he sniffed from one blade of grass to the next, something in the field behind the house caught my eye. Two small rabbits were caught up in what appeared to be a game of tag. In the early morning light, I could see them as they chased each other back and forth through the high grass. Overhead, two small birds were chasing a hawk who dared to venture too close to their nest. Their brave defense of their "home" against the much larger bird was comical to watch. All around me, the world was coming awake for another day. As the wonder inside me began to build, the verse above came to mind.

I am reminded that wonder leads to worship. Stated differently, that which captures our attention and enthralls our hearts is the very thing we worship. Observing the field behind my house pointed my heart towards a God who is the beginning of all life--the Creator of every thing that lives. It reminded me of His infinite power, His limitless creativity and His constant love for me.

However, misplaced wonder can lead to false worship. To be in awe of nature is one thing. To worship a tree or bird or bush is another. Here is where we fall into traps. I am amazed at the ability of an athlete in competition or a professor with great intellect. I may be amazed by them but to worship them is to fall short, to miss the One who is worthy of the worship. A neurosurgeon with great skill or a writer with mastery of words may draw accolades for their work, but only the Creator is worthy of our wonder and our worship.

The problem is a culture who is too easily impressed with ourselves. Our idols are talented, smart, popular, wealthy, beautiful...but they are finite, impotent, imperfect and frail. Their minds could never reach the scope of God's omniscience. Their power could not touch His omnipotence. At their very best, they would be but a shadow of the character of God.

If only we could find ourselves less in awe of the creation and more in awe of its Creator. I pray I can find less wonder for the irreverent behavior of man and more worship for the reverent existence of a holy God. May we--all of us--never lose our sense of wonder when it comes to God.

How could we ever forget?

2011-05-29T16:28:00.003-05:00

In many ways, it was just like any other Sunday. I woke up in my bed next to my beautiful wife. After getting ready for church, I walked into my driveway and grabbed the paper. There, I read of nations in turmoil, people in fear and many who live with no freedom. I drove in my car to my church where I led our Ridgeview family in worship. We prayed and sang and read God's word without one moment of fear. I took my family to lunch and then came home for a day of rest. I watched a ball game on TV and read a little on the Internet. Through it all, I have been constantly reminded of what this weekend is, what it stands for.

I have also been reminded why it is so important that I never forget the men and women who have served our country with their lives. They have stood on foreign shores. They have sacrificed their tomorrows so that my tomorrow would be bright. They gave up many freedoms so that ours would not have to be surrendered. What we have did not come easy, nor did it come cheap. It came through the blood, sweat and sacrifice of those who knew that freedom comes with a heavy price.

So, thank you, veterans. Thank you for going, giving, serving and dying. How could we ever forget the sacrifices you have made?

I don't care how you choose to remember...just remember. It's that important.

That's your opinion

2011-05-24T14:08:00.002-05:00

I sat on the patio of one of my favorite burger places for lunch today. I was by myself so it gave me a chance to participate in one of my favorite hobbies--people watching. Today is the last day of school here, so the downtown area was filled with teenagers who were eating lunch to celebrate their last day. Just more to watch for me.

After 15 years in student ministry, I still have a keen interest in watching the habits of teens--the goofiness, the showboating, the flirting....you get the picture. I watched with particular interest today as 5 young guys sat at a table about 20 feet away. You know teenage boys. There is always plenty to watch. Every now and then I would catch bits of their conversation. Through it all, what I observed was this constant "maneuvering" to win the approval of the other guys at the table. Maybe it was a joke someone made or some commentary on some girl at school. It was really quite enjoyable.

Then I started wondering what they were really thinking. All five seemed to be pretty confident boys, very social and sure of themselves. But I began to imagine what each of them might be thinking as they carried out their interactions. What were their fears? What were their real opinions of each other? Were they really that confident or did they, like most of us, harbor secret doubts about their "likeability"?

As adults, we are not so far removed (if at all) from those same worries. We play social games where we may think one thing and say another, just to meet the approval of those around us. We worry about other's thoughts and opinions. Makes you wonder how life would be different if we a) didn't worry so much about other's opinions and b) made the commitment to be honest with one another, even in uncomfortable situations.

With that in mind, I thought I'd end the blog on a lighter note. What if our greeting cards were as honest as we should be with one another? What might they say? (NOTE: the expressions of "love" below are not the opinions of this blogger and have been borrowed from a friend of mine. Enjoy)

I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.

After I met you, I changed my mind.

Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder...

...what the heck was I thinking?

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go though, would you like to take the knife out of my back? You may need it for another promotion.

When we were together, you always said you would die for me.

Now that we're apart, I expect you to keep your promise.

I must admit that our relationship has brought religion back into my life.

Before I met you, I never really believed in Hell

I hope it made you laugh a little and realize, there are only two opinions that matter. What Christ thinks of you and what you believe about yourself.

Still Here

2011-05-23T15:14:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the first work day after the rapture. I must admit that I'm a little disappointed. My office looks the same and I was hoping that my "heavenly body" would be a little leaner. But, hey, at least we made it, right?

Enough with the sarcasm. Like many of you I watched the minutes tick by with interest on Saturday evening. Not because I believed that Mr. Camping was remotely correct (although he could have been) but because I wanted to see the world's reaction when 6:01 came and most of us were still here.

There were the typical skeptical remarks, the wisecracks and the outright condemnations. I, too, was upset by the fact that Mr. Camping's predictions put yet another black-eye on the Christian faith and those who profess to follow Jesus. I was far more upset to read that many millions of dollars have been bilked from Camping's followers to put up billboards and to promote his prophecy; millions that could have dug fresh wells in third-world countries, built orphanages in Eastern Europe or battled poverty all over the world. Millions of misplaced dollars were used for something that really didn't matter. Why? Because whether the world ends today or tomorrow or a 100 years from now, there are really only two things that you and I can do about it--get ready and get others ready.

I have to admit that my heart kind of went out to the 89 year old Camping though. I don't know the man. I have never listened to one minute of his teachings. I don't know his character. But he and I have one thing in common, we're looking forward to heaven. As they used to say in my grandmother's little church in South Georgia--the great homecoming. On this, Mr. Camping and I can most definitely agree..."when we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be." Hope you're ready...whenever it comes.

Braces

2011-05-18T16:38:00.002-05:00

I got braces on my teeth when I was 33 years old. Not quite a teenager. Till that point, I had resisted with everything in me. I just didn't have a desire to spend the time or energy that it would take...nor did I look forward to the inconvenience. Besides, I reasoned, I could chew my food just fine and talking was no problem. What else did I need? I was content.

Then came my friend, Dana. Dana and I had a pretty good friendship right from the beginning. There was one problem. Dana was an orthodontist. And not just any orthodontist. He was the kind that never saw a smile he couldn't make better. He didn't gently introduce the idea of braces to me. He pretty much told me when and where to show up to get those teeth fixed. So, I did, much to his amusement and my family's delight.

I remember the first meal. Just the feeling of soup sliding across my teeth hurt. It would set me on edge to hear someone crunching on an apple or a piece of ice. I didn't think it would ever end. Then the second hour came and it got worse. Dana had warned me. He had told me it would be that way. Then he offered me this hope, "The teeth will settle into their new place. When they do, the pain will subside and you'll like what you see."

I thought about that moment this morning as our staff was talking about transitions. For those of you who haven't heard, I recently stepped aside as pastor at Ridgeview Church to pursue Ridley Barron Ministries with a full-time focus. My family and I will continue to worship and serve alongside our faith family at RCC. But God had made it very clear that this was the next step for us. Lisa and I have a passion to continue using our stories to offer hope and encouragement to others. God is choosing to use it through this ministry.

Transitions are hard, no matter what they look like or when they occur. They take on many forms--children starting school, starting to drive, graduation, marriage, a new job, a new school or a new hometown. Each transition comes with its own set of challenges and concerns. I'm thankful that God has promised not to leave us through any of those times.

My family faces its own unsettled feelings as we make this move of faith. I'm not sure what God wants to do with this. I'm not sure how long it will last. I'm not sure where it will take us. I'm not sure....but God is. And, in those moments when fear starts to creep in and my flesh takes control, I hear him saying, "Hang on. You will settle into your new place if you just trust me. When you do, the pain will subside and I promise you will like what you see." So, just like with Dana (although he isn't quite God), I keep trusting. I keep looking in the mirror watching the changes. I keep holding onto the promise that He is a professional...He knows just what He is doing.

Wannabes

2011-05-11T13:53:00.002-05:00

There was an interesting article that I came across this morning. Entitled "SEALS expose those who have faked service," the article talked about the number of people in our country who try to pass themselves off as former members of the elite team that carries out America's most dangerous military missions. It seems that true Navy SEAL veterans have their hands full trying to debunk the myths created by these "wannabes." One vet says he gets upwards of 4o inquiries a day from people wanting to verify the stories of their family members, co-workers, friends and--believe it or not--pastors. That number is only expected to rise after the fame that has risen from their latest mission--the capture/slaying of Osama bin Laden, international terrorist.

It seems that many Americans--men and women--want to be associated with the famous group. I can't imagine many of them would stick to their story if they were forced to go through even one day of what it takes to make the team. Brutal workouts. Days without sleeping or eating. Dangerous missions behind enemy lines. Discipline that would humble many professional athletes.

It got me thinking about a more relevant question for all of us. Do we treat Jesus the same way? Let's face it, you don't get more famous than Jesus. The name is known in almost every nation on the face of the earth. Today, he has over 2 billion people who call themselves "team members." But do they really know what it takes to follow this Man? Confronted with the reality of what it means to be a true Christ follower, I believe most would shrink away, unable to meet the "demands". The irony, though, is that all Christ demands of us is surrender. That's right. Give up, give in and give Him control. What a humbling thought to know that God's free gift scares us, intimidates us from following through on our claims to know Him.

One SEAL vet from the article said, "There were about 500 SEALs who operated in Vietnam and I've met all 20,000 of them." My prayer is that when we claim the name of Christ, we understand, first, what it really means to be "in Christ." The world wants to know the hope of those who follow the man from Nazareth. But they won't find it in those who brag about a relationship that they have no intention of living out.

Taking Chances

2011-05-10T15:26:00.002-05:00

I have found over the years that there are many ways I get the gospel wrong. Really wrong. Probably one of the most commons errors I find in my thinking is that this gospel is about me, that its focus is me and my comfort. The closer I read the Bible and the more I think about these things, the more I come to this radical conclusion...God is not concerned with my comfort. He did not die on the Cross to make me feel better about myself or so that He could promise me a better way of life. Jesus died for God's glory, not mine.

When I clear my mind and learn to live in light of this reality (and it is no easy task) I learn that life is not about being safe and cautious. It's about living dangerously on behalf of God. Let me put it to you this way: if what we do in our lives has no possibility of failure, it has no basis in faith.

I recently had a conversation about this with a young man I know. This guy is a solid as you could find. He is dependable, mature, full of integrity. He has just come to the conclusion his life is too safe--that very little about who he is or what he does requires God's presence to get it done. Over the years I have had numerous conversations with older Christ followers who echoed His thoughts. They will tell you of their previous journey of faith--church attendance, honest living, dependable lifestyle--you know the spiel. Then their eyes begin to twinkle and there is a new sense of enthusiasm as they talk about living "recklessly" in the hands of God. Launching new careers, moving to new locales, walking away from everything in their life that gave them "security" and embracing full dependence on God.

I'm there again. I'm at that place where I don't want to get to the end of my life and finish safely. I don't want 50 people gathered at my grave site some day...way off in the future...looking at each other with tears in their eyes saying, "Ridley was safe. He caused few ripples, left few marks of his own." NO! I'd rather them stand in a worship center celebrating somewhere, laughing at some of the foolish things I attempted for the Kingdom. I want to know that I left the biggest dent in the world (even if the dent comes from running headlong into walls that the world said couldn't be moved). I think the greatest disaster for the Church today would be for Jesus to come and find that we spent more time worshipping our comfort than we did living out our faith.

Changes

2011-05-03T12:40:00.002-05:00

Spotted on Facebook and shared with me by a friend:
You hear Osama is dead with no proof of a body and you celebrate. You hear Christ died and rose with no proof of a body and you speculate?

Man, has a lot happened since my last blog on Wednesday. Tornadoes have left a 375 mile track of destruction through the Southeast. Fires have burned much of Texas. Flood waters are ravaging towns up and down the Mississippi. The two decade long game of "hide-and-seek" with bin Laden has come to an end (USA-1, bin Laden-...never mind, game over). And as we are fast approaching summer, we are waking up to forty degree temperatures in Franklin...just a day after it was in the mid-eighties here.

Changes are all around us. My sister was digging through some old photos looking for something recently and came across some pictures of Josh. She forwarded them to me. Flashing from the screen were those amazing blue eyes and that precious grin. In one picture, my mom was holding him and I thought about how much had changed for all of us since that day. Her husband gone. My wife and son gone. Harrison and Abby much older and--in their mind--much wiser. Remarried, new children, new town, new job.

No matter what, changes come. To resist them is like standing waist deep in the ocean trying to keep the waves from hitting the beach. You may disrupt a few waves but the ocean still comes...and comes. Rather than resisting the waves--or the changes--it's usually easier and more fun to learn to ride whatever wave life brings you. I can tell you that you won't like every wave. Some will take you places you didn't want to go. Others will push you into uncomfortable positions. But many will give you the ride you desired. They will enable you to see things you never could and to feel things you once thought impossible.

Yes, change is inevitable. We very seldom want to embrace it. But in embracing change we are able to embrace all the possibilities of God.

We'll be out the rest of the week partnering with some new friends in Indianapolis at St. Vincent's Hospital. Please be in prayer for us as we go.

A God Who "Tortures" part 2

2011-04-27T17:34:00.003-05:00

I don't usually blog twice in one day but it would appear that my friend and I have stirred up a little controversy with the blog from earlier today. Since I'm going to be out of pocket for an event for a couple of days and usually don't take the time to blog over the weekend, I thought I'd take a second to respond.

I'm not sure about the statement that I "skirted the issue" with my earlier blog. I certainly didn't intend to with my comments. So I thought I'd come back and try to make myself a little more clear in my answer.

First of all, I want to affirm the comments of one of my readers regarding the Bible. I love hearing the thoughts and opinions of others. The Internet has opened us to a world of possibilities in this area. Sometimes, though, I worry that the abundance of books and resources make us too "smart for our own good." When it comes to these difficult subjects I feel like its essential that we go back to the Bible itself--and only the Bible--as the source for truth. Like many of you, I love C. S. Lewis. He is not God. Neither is the opinion of some best-selling author. To go one step further, my feelings are not what's important here. Not to offend my readers but neither are yours

The only thing that truly matters here is God's plan and how it is revealed to us in the Bible. I will not allow myself to be trapped into saying anything I'm not sure about. Yes, I can offer my opinions. But the only thing I will offer as fact is what the Bible says is truth.

With that, I will tell you the facts. There is no other name under heaven by which men will be saved (Acts 4:12). None. God's plan would not be very fair if He came up with one plan for the Middle East (aka Jesus dying for our sins) and another for the Far East (the Seven-fold path to enlightenment) and another for North America (Native American mysticism). He, Himself, would be the author of confusion. God is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33).

Next fact, there is a real hell that the "lost" will face. Once again, if everyone will eventually be saved, then why send Jesus in the first place? Why force your Son to die? Why not just give everyone a pass?

Finally, whether I think it's fair or not, those who do not have Jesus are still lost. This is why Jesus came..."to seek and save that which is lost" (Luke 19:10). If those who have never heard the name of Jesus get some kind of free "pass" for not being exposed to the Gospel, then we are endangering the whole world by sharing Jesus with them. We are creating greater responsibility for them when their ignorance would be a greater blessing.

The part I don't know--the part I only have opinions about--is what a just God will do about such situations. I will not call Him unfair. In my mind, I don't have a right to call God unfair when He didn't have to give me life in the first place. If creation had been my idea--if I had asked God to create me--then maybe I could write the rules. I didn't so I can't. What God chooses to do and what wisdom He uses to do it with is what separates a Creator from His creation.

This I do know. When it is all said and done, the question of His "fairness" and "justice" will not be a question any longer. I don't know answers beyond what the Bible gives me. I am not God (everyone can say "amen" on that one). I don't want to be. He is doing just fine without me. And I will not offer apologies for a plan that He has put in place, revealed in His word, taught while here in the flesh and made clear through His Holy Spirit.

A God who "tortures"

2011-04-27T12:21:00.003-05:00

I received a new question in response to one of my recent blogs. I want to thank my "anonymous" friend for sending it in. This is exactly what I was talking about when I said any and all questions--even the tough ones. Let me share their comments (not sure if it's a he or she). Then I'll make an attempt to explain my thoughts.

The population of the world is nearing seven (7) billion. Of that, approximately two (2) billion are Christian. For the sake of argument, let's assume they have a "saving" relationship with Jesus. That means nearly 5 billion people will suffer the torments of hell according to your interpretation of scripture. And, that's not to mention the billions who have died previously. So, we have a God that tortures - isn't that the correct term for hell? - the majority of humankind. I'm not trying to be confrontational, but doesn't that seem hard to square with a loving and merciful God? C. S. Lewis said, "We do know that no man can be saved except through Christ; we do not know that only those who know Him can be saved through Him." Isn't that a possibility? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

I love the compassion behind this question. What I hear is someone who sincerely desires to know that all of us will someday be saved from the punishment that our sin requires. I think the difference between the way the question is posed and what I believe Scripture teaches is our understanding of God's character.

Who doesn't enjoy talking about God's love? He is, after all, the very essence of love. Without Him, I don't believe we even know what love is. But to stop at God's love is to make Him one-dimensional. Scripture gives us many examples of the whole character of God. He is not only loving but pure, holy, just, and righteous. He displays qualities such as anger, sorrow, gladness and jealousy. So, while God is very much a God of love, that's not all He is.

With that understanding, let's start at the beginning. God, out of love, created the universe so that He may live in love with His creation, shower it with the deepest of His affections. Because He wanted that love returned willingly, He created us with a will and a choice. Unfortunately, one of His first creations was Lucifer, who used that free will to disobey and rebel. To keep this short, let's just summarize by saying that Adam and Eve continued that trend (thanks to Satan's influence) and mankind has been rebelling ever since. The evidence of that is all over the evening news. God's righteous and just nature required a penalty to be paid for these poor choices (call it the "Divine Courtroom"--Romans 6:23). But because of His deep love for us, He offered Jesus to pay the price for our sin.

Hang in there with me, I'm to the point of where I think the major difference of interpretation is. You see, the way my friend asked the question was this, "We have a God who tortures (the other 5 billion by sending them to Hell)." My answer is no. God doesn't send people to Hell. Their poor choices do. Rather than seeing a God who tortures by condemning people, I see a God who loves so deeply He died to keep them from the tortures of hell. The questioner sees God as sending 5 billion + people to Hell. I see it as God dying to save 2 billion + people from it (and anyone else who will trust Jesus for salvation).

The difference is in how you look at it.

I like the view of C.S. Lewis who in Mere Christianity wrote, "Here is another thing that used to puzzle me. Is it not frightfully unfair that this new life should be confined to people who have heard of Christ and been able to believe in Him? But the truth is God has not told us what His arrangements about the other people are. We do know that no man can be saved except through Christ; we do not know that only those who know Him can be saved through Him."

What I hear Lewis saying though, is that all I can speak to is what I know from Scripture--there is a hell and those who do not choose Jesus are choosing to spend eternity there. If there is no hell then Jesus should apologize for talking about it so much and scaring us for no reason. What I do not know--how God judges the hearts of one man over another--is best left for God to decide...not me. I will tell you one thing. On this Rob Bell and I agree: love does win. It won on a cross 2000 years ago when a perfect Savior died a painful death for anyone who would accept His offer of forgiveness. For the rest...it's a choice they have to take responsibility for. Not God.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9 NIV

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 NIV

Losing the "Lost"

2011-04-26T14:49:00.003-05:00

One of the hardest things to do as a pastor is to offer "hope" to families when a loved one has apparently died without having a relationship with Jesus. I say apparently because I try to be very careful about trying to make such a determination. I am one of those who believes that the Bible urges us to judge one another's fruit (our behaviors as they compare to what Scripture teaches) but also warns us heavily about trying to determine the reality of someone's relationship with Christ.

But when a family readily admits that their loved one had nothing to do with faith or Christ, it's hard to offer them much hope. No, it's not hard...it's impossible. I believe with all my heart that every bit of hope we have beyond the grave rests in the final and complete work that Jesus did on the Cross and by coming out of the tomb. Those two events combined are what all our hopes rest on...all of them.

Last night I was asked a question that relates to this subject. The question went something like this:

What would your advice be to someone who has lost one of the most important people in their life when that person didn’t believe in God and no one in your family knows Christ?

See what I mean about tough? Can I be honest and tell you this is one of those areas where I'm really at a loss for answers? I've said before that, based on my own experience, I don't know how anyone can go through a difficult trial without some kind of faith. I'm also aware that, for some people, trials are the very thing that causes someone to lose their faith. (Remember my blog a few days ago about bad things happening to good people?)

This answer may seem harsh (if someone has a nicer suggestion, I'm open) but I would submit that there is nothing you can offer to families regarding the person who has died...but there is everything you can offer the living. If nothing else, the loss of a loved one should put a greater sense of urgency in our hearts for those who remain. It should stoke our fires. It should give greater passion to our prayers and greater insistence to our pleas. Watching someone (anyone) die without Jesus should energize us for the task of sharing with others this message of grace and mercy and hope.

It should also force us to live our lives with a little bit more purity. At the risk of sounding trite, your life may be the only Jesus that your friends and family ever see. For many people that means the greatest stumbling block to their faith is not their lack of confidence in Christ but the lack of consistency in your imitation of Him.

Losing someone is never easy. An understatement. Losing someone who is--as church people like to say--"lost" without Jesus is infinitely harder. Rather than getting down about what we cannot change, however, I think it should inspire us to love more deeply a world that waits to hear about the hope we have.

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 1 Peter 3:15 NIV

Whining and complaining

2011-04-25T13:54:00.002-05:00

Yeah, you're at the right place. The blog has a whole new look. I think Lisa got tired of looking at the same old page so she asked me last week, "Can we do something to change your page a little bit?" The only good answer to that question is "yes." Hope you like it.

I was reading a little bit in Habakkuk this morning, eavesdropping just a bit as the prophet whines and complains a little bit to God. It was interesting to me because I've never done that before and I really couldn't relate at all to how Habakkuk felt before God....

...okay, I'm laughing at that last statement even if you aren't. I whine and complain to God with the best of them. I can get so caught up in my world that I forget what God's plan is and forget to think about how He wants me to react to my world. I'm good at it too. I don't just throw pity parties. I'm the stinking DJ at all my events.

Habakkuk is a lot like me in these matters. He's watching a world spinning out of control . God seems to be indifferent. The wicked are prospering while the innocent seem to get run over at every turn. It's enough to make a grown man...well, complain. So that's what Habakkuk does.

I needed to hear God's answer to Habakkuk for myself. I needed that reminder of His authority and His power. While God addresses Habakkuk's specific questions for his day, I think He's teaching me a lot. He says that only one time frame matters...it's His. He says only one plan will succeed...it's His. He says that there is only one true power controlling the universe...it's His. And, finally, there is only One whose presence can bring calm to the chaos and peace to the turmoil...it's His.

Rather than whining about my day, there are specific prayers I can pray and specific actions I can take to make my Monday (or any other day) better. Part of the challenge is lining my thoughts up with a God who is pure and holy and mighty. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't "comprehend" God by trying to bring Him down to my level and put Him on my playing field. He will do what brings Him glory. In the short-term it may not look pretty. In the long term, I am blessed when I surrender my desires to His power and His plan and His presence.

Pity party over. Now it's time to watch and see what He is up to.

Making future plans

2011-04-21T13:36:00.002-05:00

Got a new question last evening. Honestly, its the first time I have ever been asked this question by someone outside of my family. It's from another friend of mine here in Franklin who has been through a similar situation as mine. She, like me, lost a spouse. God has blessed her with a wonderful new husband to share the remainder of her life with. She feels doubly blessed to have found this new love but also carries with her the love she had for her first husband. Her question is a great one.

When you think ahead to when your own life is over, what are your wishes regarding who you will be buried beside? Have you talked about that with Lisa? Should we even be worried about this?

Another wonderful question. You know, the truth is that most people don't like to think about death and dying. It's not the most comfortable of subjects. I thank God that Sarah and I talked about it before she was killed in the accident. Because I have been through this before, I am more open to these discussions with Lisa. So, yes, we have talked about this to some degree. (It's obviously not Lisa's favorite subject).

I guess ideally you'd never have to deal with questions like this in life. Every marriage would end on time and work out so that no spouse ever had to worry about such questions. But we do so we deal with them. I have told Lisa that I really don't care. Sorry to take the easy way out on this one but I really don't. My personal belief is that it won't make any difference any way. I'll be so far gone from this place that what plot of turf contains my remains just isn't a real high priority for me. I do personally have a plot next to Sarah and Josh that was purchased at the time of the accident before I met Lisa. (I only bought three on the belief that Harrison and Abby would grow, get married and be buried with their families later on).

There is a side of me that would love to be buried in a big old field with all of the rest of my family around me. There is also a realistic side of me that says by the time this happens (I plan on living another 40 years at least), I could be living in Key Largo, Florida and obviously won't care to be moved all the way back to Middle Tennessee to be buried.

I've jokingly told Lisa that the ideal solution for me is this: cremate me. Take one third of my ashes and sprinkle them on her grave, one third to be sprinkled on Sarah's grave and one third to be sprinkled at the 50 yard line of Sanford Stadium in Athens. I simply don't have this concern at the top of my list--as you can probably tell.

Now, for those of you who may be giving this a lot more (serious) thought, I don't know that there is a proper answer, one that is generally considered to be acceptable. I think it's a personal question where the answer depends on things like history, relationships, locales, etc.

No, I haven't given it much consideration. My primary concern has been less about where my remains...er, remain than it is about where the souls of the people I know go to spend eternity. For that question, there's only two choices...and the second one is not a destination that any of us want to face.

Why?

2011-04-20T14:38:00.002-05:00

When you listen to the questions people have regarding God and life, there is one overarching question that seems to plague everyone to some degree. It came up again with my invitation for your specific questions recently.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

The answer is not nearly as difficult as it may seem. We live in a culture where every single night some person with a big smile starts the evening news by saying "Good day" and then spends the next hour telling us why it wasn't.

Suffering is everywhere and, no matter where you look, bad things touch people's lives. Everyone. Not just the "good people" but the "bad" as well. The first thing to keep in mind is that we are all "bad" to some degree, even the best of us (Romans 6:23). The root cause of our suffering is that we have freedom. The freedom to choose was a gift that God gave His creation from the very beginning. In order for there to be a real choice there has to be more than one option (otherwise, there is no choice).

Satan was the first to choose. He chose to rebel against God. Immediately after him came the choice of Adam and Eve to disobey and act on their own desires (freedom). Ever since that day, our choices have led us to victories, successes and accomplishments. It's caused people to choose love, education, peace and friendship. But it has also led to hardship, poverty, bigotry, hatred and suffering. The consequences of our freedom.

As we watch tragedy touch the lives of those around us, what we are really asking is, "Why doesn't God do something about all of this?" There are two levels to answer that question. Specifically, God's infinite wisdom determines whether He needs to intervene in each instant with a miracle or allow the suffering to happen. To do a miracle brings Him glory. To allow suffering can bring correction, discipline or even more glory through the circumstances that follow. In my case, God could have absolutely stopped the accident before it happened. But His wisdom allowed Him to see how Sarah and Josh's death could spin off into greater good for a whole lot of people...and bring Him tremendous glory.

Speaking on much broader terms, God did do something. He sent His Son to die to rescue us from the suffering. You can't do much more than that!

Here's a simplified illustration to answer your question. If you chose to build your house on the interstate, you would expect that you would eventually get hit by a car. As long as you and I live on this planet--with real people who have real freedom and real choices--there is a great potential that you will be touched by something bad. The choice that follows is our reaction to the tragedy. The potential outcome sends ripples across generations.

Thanks for the questions. This is the last one I had received to this point. If you have more, please send them. Nothing is out of bounds.

Measuring the loss

2011-04-19T10:50:00.003-05:00

An old friend of mine from college contacted me the other day with her question. She started by admitting she wasn't really sure she had a question. She just enjoyed reading the blog. Later, after more thought, she discovered she related well to some of the things revealed in Lisa's blogs. This question came to mind for her...

...is losing a wife harder to heal from than losing a child? Great question.

I'll start my answer with the always popular..."it depends."

Let me explain my reasoning. Sarah Ellen was one of the most amazing gifts I had ever been given. She was my best friend, ministry partner and "girlfriend" in the truest sense of the word. That doesn't mean we didn't have our share of difficulties, arguments and problems. But, at the end of the day, I knew what I had with Sarah and I loved it. Losing her was gut-wrenching and it literally and figuratively took my breath away. There were days where I felt like I was going to have to re-learn everything without her around. I would wake up in the middle of the night and reach out to find her...only to be reminded that she was gone. I would come in from work at times and catch myself thinking, "I don't see her. She must be in the bedroom." Then reality would set in. Losing her was hard.

Losing Josh was, in some regards, harder for me. Maybe it was the circumstances. Reeling from Sarah's death, I was very unsteady emotionally and mentally. Then Josh was overdosed and it drove the knife even deeper into my heart. Maybe it was his age. Although Sarah was a very young woman when she died (33), there is a sense that the loss of a 17 month old is a huge travesty because he never got to experience much of life. I never got to see what he would become. The world never got to know how special he was. I was cheated out of memories we never made and moments we never shared.

Now, here is where the "it depends" part comes in. There are seasons. Watching my kids grow and pass milestones without Sarah there to see them is hard. Then, knowing that milestones come and go that Josh never had a chance to reach is hard as well.

Let me just say that you never "get over" losing someone--child, parent, sibling or spouse--you learn to adapt, to handle the emotions that come, and to rebuild. Having Lisa, Morgan and Landon in my life has been a tremendous blessing and a wonderful part of the rebuilding. Heck, some guys go there whole life without finding someone to love them. I've been blessed to have two very amazing (and quite beautiful) women love me. So I've learned to adapt to what life has brought me....I am continuing to learn. But I don't think there is any way you can prepare yourself for the loss of someone you love. Nor can you measure the size of the loss.

Thanks for the great question, Debra.

Forgiving those who wrong us

2011-04-18T13:42:00.002-05:00

Thanks again for the questions you are sending in. Please feel free to continue to send new ones, even questions that are stimulated by the answers I'm giving. My next question comes from my friend, Adam. Adam and I have never actually met. Adam read Josh's story in a magazine back a few years ago in a doctor's office. After reading the story, he had some questions that he has held onto until I gave him permission to ask them.

His question is this: how hard was it to forgive the driver and the hospital and how long did it take me to do that?

Honestly, it wasn't as hard as you might suspect. There are two reasons why. My parents, my teachers, the mentors in my life--they had taught me about what bitterness and unforgiveness can do to a person. In fact, the very afternoon that we drove home from the hospital after Josh died, I had family in the car with me who were "coaching" me through this. They encouraged me to pray immediately, to begin to forgive. It was only a beginning but it got my heart and mind moving in the right direction. Mostly, it just got me moving.

The second reason? I had seen what bitterness had done to others. I knew I couldn't allow that to happen to me. Some people very close to me after the accident were ravaged by their inability to forgive. It paralyzed them spiritually and served as a warning to me as I watched them deal with the deaths in their own way. I could not be the dad or pastor I needed to be if I could not find it in my heart to forgive.

As far as the question about how long it took, you will note that in question one I didn't say it was easy or that it was over. The truth is that it's an every day process. I believe that forgiveness, just like love, is not a feeling you have. It's a decision you make. The choice is mine. If I had gone with what I felt in those first few hours after the wreck, there would have been a totally different outcome. I had to choose to do something different. Some days are much harder than others. Some days I don't even think about it. Other days, I struggle with it throughout the day. This past week, I thought about it a little more than at other times because it was the anniversary of Sarah and Josh's deaths.

The bottom line (and keep in mind, this is wisdom from someone I love and respect. It's not from my brain)...bitterness is a poison that kills no one but me. To attempt to move on with anger in my life is really not an attempt to move on at all. It's a choice to die in my own hatred and bitterness.

Healing

2011-04-14T13:37:00.003-05:00

Thank you to those who have sent in questions. I'm very excited to have the opportunity to deal with these together and see what God has to teach us as we handle each one. Please feel free to keep sending them. Also, please know that I don't have all the answers. I'll gladly share my thoughts with you, but you are welcome to disagree. I simply speak from the wisdom of my own personal experience. More important, I try to speak from the best source of wisdom I know. (no, it's not Lisa, though she's a pretty smart cookie). It's the Bible.

The first question comes from one of my newer friends. This is a woman who has experienced a great deal of pain and loss of her own variety (haven't we all at some point?). Her question for me was simply this: how did you know when the healing process began considering there were several tragedies in such a short amount of time?

Let me start by filling in some blanks for those less familiar. Most of you know that my wife died in the car accident on April 9, 2004 and my son died on April 14, five days later. What many aren't aware of is that Sarah Ellen and I lost a niece to a perforated appendix in November of the year before and my dad passed away in early February--just two months before the accident. In less than six months I lost four people who I loved deeply. Now, to the question.

I honestly am not sure that there was one point where I realized the healing began. But I woke up one day, just a few months after the accident and said to myself, "I'm going to make it. I'm not there yet...but I will."

I have a theory as I look back over those days (keep in mind that its just a theory based on my experience. Your theories may be different). Healing, just like with our physical bodies, begins naturally as we seek to put life back together after a tragedy. When I cut my hand or scrape a knee, my physical body starts right away to attempt to heal itself. I think the spirit and mind seek to do the same thing. The problem is not in making the healing begin, it is in allowing it to continue and run it's course.

Let's take my example of the scraped knee. You fall and scrape it badly. Instantly, the human body reacts and begins to heal. But the healing must be helped along and not hindered. You can't pick at the scabs all of the time or continue to scrape the injury on the carpet of your house if you expect it to heal. In fact, the best healing is done when we don't focus on the wound but what the rest of the body is up to.

Tragedy tore at my heart that April. I could have sat and focused on the "wound" for the rest of my life. In fact, I did for several days. But experience, the demands of life and friends would not allow me to continue to focus on the injury. Instead, they turned my heart back to the rest of my life that was still yet to be lived. There were kids to raise, a church to lead, family who needed my attention and the promise I had made to bring good from the loss. All of those things kept me from "picking at the scab" and allowing my heart to heal. That doesn't mean that I never paid attention to it. There were days that I had to. The pain was too great to ignore. But I didn't linger over the pain nor let my focus dwell there. I got back to what God had next for me.

Now, whether you believe what I just wrote or not, this much I know is true. Grief is unique to every person. Healing is as well. And whether or not healing happens for you after your time of trial depends largely on you. Don't believe for a second that God is not capable of healing you nor that He doesn't have a desire to. The Bible mentions frequently this passion He has to do that very thing for you. You have to desire it for yourself.

Allow yourself to heal. Surround yourself with those who seek it for you. Don't let the past keep you from the present and, just as important, the amazing future that God has for you. Focus on what He is up to and, before long, you will find the wound is healed. You will not be without scars--after all, every skinned knee bears its reminders--but you will be able to embrace God's plan without fear of what might happen next.

He heals the heartbroken
and bandages their wounds.
He counts the stars
and assigns each a name.
Our Lord is great, with limitless strength;
we'll never comprehend what he knows and does.
God puts the fallen on their feet again
and pushes the wicked into the ditch. Psalm 147:3-6 The Message

She's Got Me Thinking

2011-04-12T10:51:00.002-05:00

Like so many of you, I have enjoyed reading Lisa's blogs the last few weeks as she has interviewed different members of my family. Most of the interviews dealt specifically with the swirling of our family and what that has looked like for each of us. Different people have shared their challenges through this process and what those have meant to them. It's garnered lots of responses as well. She's gotten many comments, questions, emails and even some phone calls. I have as well. Especially as we are in the season where we are remembering the anniversaries of Josh and Sarah Ellen's deaths.

Two e-mails in particular got me thinking this morning. Both were from old friends who had been reading Lisa's emails and remembering that the anniversary of the accident had just passed. They shared with me that the blog had brought up and even answered many questions that they had about this whole tragedy.

Over the last seven years, I've tried to share and talk and be very open. I knew it was good for my healing but, just as important to me, it was helpful for others who were going through this with me, as well as complete strangers who had their own personal tragedies. Then it struck me. I want to do more. I want to help anyone I can--friend, family member or acquaintance--with whatever it is they are going through.

So, I'm asking you for your questions. There may be none. And if that is the case, I'll go on with my blog and continue to share as God leads me. However, if there is one or a dozen or a hundred questions about the event or my feelings or what God is teaching I would love the privilege of dealing with them here. It may not only help with your healing and mine but also with someone else who is reading. I'll take ALL questions. I haven't been asked anything in seven years that I couldn't deal with. If that happens, I'll just reserve the right to put the question aside. I don't expect that to happen. I'll just pray that God gives me the wisdom and the understanding to deal with whatever you may ask. I will welcome questions from anyone and, if you prefer to remain anonymous, I will do that for you if it is appropriate.

Here's the best way to reach me: ridley@ridleybarron.com

Thanks for giving me a chance to do this for us...let the questions begin.

Looking back

2011-04-11T12:57:00.002-05:00

It's been seven years. Hard to believe. I was sitting in my office this morning trying to remember where I was and what I was doing seven years ago today. It was Easter Sunday morning. I preached our services that morning and went home and crashed, exhausted from conversations and well-wishers and...well, everything.

Just two days before, my life had been literally smashed by the fall out from a major car accident. My best friend was gone. My youngest child lay in a hospital three hours away, just a few days away from his own death. My other two children were wrecked by the events of the weekend. And there I was, sitting in my recliner/bed, asking questions of God that I never dreamed I would have to ask. Honestly, I was too wrapped up to even know what was going on around me. I wasn't the only one hurting. There were church members, friends and, of course, the family--both mine and Sarah's--that were destroyed by these events.

I guess that's one of the reasons I have enjoyed so much reading Lisa's blog (read it here. It's worth the read) over recent weeks. It's been such a blessing, such an eye-opening thing to read what other's thoughts and feelings have been these last 7 years.

I will tell you this. I've learned more about myself than I care to know and more about God--who I desire to know deeper than I ever have. Sarah and Josh's death put a hunger in me to know God more than before. I had to know this God who saw more in me than I saw in myself. This God who loves me and my kids deeply enough to leave nothing to chance. I'm only a few steps further in this journey than I was seven years ago. In fact, I'm disappointed that I'm not further. I'm evaluating who I am, where I am and where God desires me to be. I'm hoping that 7 years from now I'll find that I've moved a lot closer to him and a lot further from myself.

North Platte

2011-04-04T10:51:00.002-05:00

I may not get to blog much the rest of the week. I'm in Nebraska for a speaking engagement today and then, Tuesday, will be joining the rest of my staff for a conference down in Louisiana. But I wanted to take a chance to share a cool story with you.

North Platte is not a really large airport. So, to get here, I had to fly into Denver and catch one of the smaller regional carriers into Nebraska. As they called for us to board our plane, it required us walking out onto the strip and climbing into the old Beechcraft 1900. I followed a young service man, in full camo, as he led us out towards our plane. We both shivered as we stepped into the early evening Colorado air. It was in the low 30s with heavy wind and some ice and snow.

There were only 6 of us on the plane and we all boarded and sat in silence. Honestly, I think all of us were just trying to stay warm. The heat on the plane really doesn't kick in until the plane is cranked and we sit through the 20 minute de-icing process. By the time we actually took off, it was mostly dark and very quiet on our plane.

It wasn't until we started our very bumpy descent into North Platte an hour later that the service man (he was seated right behind me) leaned up and yelled above the engines, "Doesn't look real comforting when the plane is swaying like this, huh?" (He kind of startled me because I thought he had been asleep).

"No," I said as I glanced out the window and watched the plane's wing sway in the wind. "Especially when you're watching the wings dance like that." I took advantage of this opening to talk a little with my new friend.

"You from North Platte."

"Yep. Born and raised."

"Where you been?"

"Afghanistan mostly. I'm coming home. Haven't seen my family in nine months."

"I bet you're excited," I said...stating the obvious.

"Yeah," he said. Then he added something that kind of surprised me. "I'm really nervous and a little afraid. I don't know what I'll say or how I'll act. I've got a wife and a 3 year old...she was two when I left. I don't know what I'll say to them...or how they'll receive me..." He trailed off.

"I'm sure you'll be fine and so will they. It will be more natural than you realize. By the way, let me be one of the first to welcome you home...and to say thanks for all you have done."

I thought of going home...our real home. I thought of how many of us live in "fear" of heaven because it's an unknown. How will we act? What will we say? Most important, how will He receive me?

Let me be the first to welcome you home. If you are a follower of Christ, you have nothing to fear. Those who "serve" Christ are recognized by the One they serve. You will be received warmly. Make no mistake about. Just like my friend from the plane.

The young private walked off the plane just behind me. He was a good 10-15 feet behind so I hurried in out of the Nebraska wind and positioned myself for the homecoming. The doors had hardly split open wide enough for him to enter when the three year old girl raced from her mothers arms, jumped into her father's and screamed with delight, "Daddy! You're home."

I thought of the day I'll get to do the same....

Opening Day

2011-03-31T11:19:00.004-05:00

I think I really got the fever yesterday. I was with Lisa in Orlando for a speaking engagement with some old friends at the Orlando Regional Medical Center. The weather was a little overcast but warm and muggy. It really felt like spring. As we sat in the Orlando airport waiting on our departure, my eyes were glued to the last few pitches of spring training as they were flashed across ESPN. Heck, I was only a few miles from the place where the Braves had just wrapped up another spring training. It was then that I really felt the excitement starting to build for opening day.

It's my 43rd one. I know, I don't even remotely remember the first few. But by age 5, I was hooked. My dad was a baseball fan. I remember the thrill he got when WTBS in Atlanta started carrying the Braves games for us in our area. Atlanta's team was my dad's team. Because of their nationwide broadcasts, it became America's team...and, very quickly, it became mine.

I spent many nights listening to my dad as he would cheer on his "Bravos." He would alternately scream at the umps, gripe at poor playing and cheer for his favorite players. It was because of him that I fell in love with the game...and with America's team. Night after night, from spring through summer and into late fall, I would watch guys like Bob Horner, Biff Pocoroba and Glen Hubbard. Dale Murphy was my first real sports hero. I tried to pitch like Al Hrabosky (the mad Hungarian) and to lay down bunts like Rafael Ramirez. And, like most of America, I watched with admiration as "Hammering" Hank Aaron cleared the wall with home run number 715 and trotted the bases at Fulton County Stadium.

It's back. That game I love so well. The one that makes me act like a kid. The one that compels me to rearrange my schedule for the first pitch, sacrifice time to make an annual visit or two to the "Ted", and to spend hours in my yard throwing a baseball with Harrison. Today, millions of kids (and dare I say more than a few 43 year olds) across this country will dream of what could be or could have been. And quietly, from their lips, will slip a phrase that grants a rush of adrenaline like few others. "Play ball!"

Discouragement

2011-03-28T15:25:00.003-05:00

I just recently read an email from a new friend I have made in my travels. I read with interest as the young man shared his personal discouragement regarding some troubles he had been through and the challenges they had presented for his faith. I could sense the desperation in his situation as he shared his story. I could tell that there were moments of hope and faith as well as deep, dark frustration.

I was reminded of what a great weapon discouragement can be. When the spirit of a person is crushed, they lose a willingness to carry on. Discouragement can sink us so deeply into our problems that it literally takes our breath away, much less our will to keep moving forward.

Those are the times that we have to remember the greatness of God. The devil loves it when we blame God for our problems. In doing so, he causes us to turn our eyes away from the one Person who can lift us from despair. Many times in the Bible we read of people who became afraid or discouraged or even hopeless. In each of those times, the difference came when they lifted their eyes back to God. They asked God to deliver them from despair and He did.

Don't let the enemy keep you from the promises and power of God today. Your situation may seem as desperate as my friend's but God has promised to stay with you, to even carry you in the worst of times. When we remember the power of God, it is impossible to lose courage no matter what our situation.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies....In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cary came before him, into his ears. Psalm 18:2-3, 6 NIV

Abigail

2011-03-24T14:23:00.003-05:00

As hard as it is to believe, it's finally here. That day that every father dreads and every little girl seems to long for. Abby turned 13 today. She is...gulp...a teenager. Now, I know that 13 is just an age. The truth is that Abby is still a child in many ways and she has been a teen for a long time in many others. But it became official last evening when Abby finally got her own Facebook account (Lisa and I are some of those "mean" parents who made Abby wait until thirteen to get her account like the Facebook restrictions actually require).

So, there she is, on the internet. This is quite unsettling for me. Let me explain why. As much as I want my daughter to have those cool experiences and to enjoy sharing with her friends, it's like one more layer of safety has been removed. One day we are taking off her training wheels and the next we are putting her picture on the World Wide Web. Seems a little scary to me.

But I'm proud of Abby, just as I am with all my kids. As frustrating as parenting can be some times, I thank God frequently that I've never had to pull my kid out of jail or pick them up at school because of a suspension or that I haven't been forced from my neighborhood because of something they did. I have, by and large, been blessed with some amazing kids that bring me great delight.

They definitely have their moments (like the time Harrison decided to stop up the drain to the shower and make it into a giant "bath tub"). But I thank God for all four of them.

And today, I am specifically thanking God for one very special little 13 year old. She stole my heart 13 years ago when she was born and she's been making it dance with delight ever since. I love watching her mature and grow in her intimacy with Christ. I cannot wait to see what God does with her and how He uses her passion and compassion. The good news is she is a blessing to me.

The bad news is I can't hold her back and keep her to myself. God has a plan and a purpose for her (Jeremiah 29:11). I don't dare get in the way. I've just been giving the joy of caring for her and loving her the best I know how until she is ready to fulfill that purpose. So, happy birthday, Abigail. Your daddy loves you and always will.

(NO, Abby, this does not mean you can date before you are 16. It's not THAT kind of plan).

You are more

2011-03-23T08:14:00.002-05:00

I have had conversations in recent weeks with people who are struggling with a pretty common problem. They've been beating themselves up for past mistakes, unable to move on to what God has for them. I can identify with that. I did the same thing for many years in college, even after I had given my life to go into ministry. I confessed past sins. I committed to following Christ closely. But I was having a hard time forgiving myself for what I had done and moving on long after God had already forgiven me. I was reminded of those frustrating days of self-doubt as I listened to a song on the way to work this morning (many times other people say it far better than I can). This is from the band Tenth Avenue North. It's called "You Are More." If you find yourself thinking those very thoughts about your worth this morning, read them carefully.

There's a girl in the corner

With tear stains on her eyes

From the places she's wandered

And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?

I'm not who I once was.

And I'm crippled by the fear

That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,

What's been done for you?

Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it

That she's been given new life

But she can't shake the feeling

That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers

And she's rehearsed all the lines

And so she'll try to do better

But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,

But what's been done for you.

This is not about where you've been,

But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,

But what He felt to forgive you,

And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

I think the issue for me lay with my perception of who God is. I saw God as someone who was watching over me--not out of love but out of a desire to catch me doing wrong. When that chance came, He would use that as the excuse to punish. The more I grew to understand the passionate love God had for me, the easier it was to see that He would go to any length that His character would allow to rescue me from my sin. (I do not agree with the recent teachings of some pastors that God will eventually allow all people into Heaven. He is, after all, still a God of righteousness and justice).

The bottom line is this. I am not worth what God did for me...and neither are you. Our worth comes from the fact that He did die for us and that He loves us deeply today. That's what makes us more than the sum of our pasts. A relationship with God is an invitation to move beyond our poor choices and to feel the deep, deep love of our Creator. For those who have chosen to receive that Gift, we have been remade.

Peace

2011-03-22T13:16:00.002-05:00

DISCLAIMER: Over the last several months, I have been encouraged to write regularly about the accident from 2004. I am working my way through writing a book about the incident. So, every Tuesday, I've taken the opportunity to write, remember and share snapshots of that tragic event.

I think one of the greatest fears I faced in my life was raising two kids on my own--even if it was just for three and a half years. I can, to this day, tell you the exact moment that the fear struck me--April 9, 2004, sitting in the passenger seat of a crushed Chevrolet mini-van. A stranger--some good Samaritan who had come upon the scene of our accident--stuck his head in my broken out window. He checked on my status and then matter-of-factly gave me the news that I never dreamed I would hear: "Sir, I don't think your wife is going to make it."

My mind raced in several directions at once. I was checking on the kids...responding to this stranger's questions...trying to figure out what had happened...trying to determine the extent of my own injuries...all at once. But one thought was louder than all others in my head, "Could this stranger be wrong? There's no way my wife is dead. God will pull off a miracle and she'll be okay. She has to be...doesn't she?"

As soon as the man disappeared to begin his search for Josh, I turned my conversation to God. Whether it was out loud or just loudly in my head, I do not know. "She can't die, God. I need her. The kids need her. God don't let her die. Please!! Take me. Let me die. My kids need their mom. I can't do this all by myself." Over and over the fears came at me. With each minute that passed, I felt myself sinking.

The strangest thing happened that day...it wouldn't be the last time. God came into that van with me. He comforted me. It was a peace I can't adequately explain but it was a peace that He gave me repeatedly over the next 3 years. I would get into those places of doubt and fear. I would question why God had allowed the accident and how He expected me to parent two kids alone while pastoring a church. His peace would come, just as it did in that van. He's shown Himself faithful many times over the last 43 years of my life. Every time I've faced a fear on my own, I have shrunk away unsure and unconfident. But when I faced those fears holding tightly to His promises, I knew it was somehow going to be okay. The situation may not change (it didn't in April 2004 nor any of the other times that followed) but God changed me in the midst of that situation. Trust that for your own fears. Know that His peace is enough and He is able to carry you through the doubts.

Unraveling my mess

2011-03-21T11:20:00.003-05:00

Like many of you, I've enjoyed reading Lisa's blog the last few days (read here). It was educational for me to hear the thoughts and feelings of my kids as they answered Lisa's questions. It was equally surprising to hear my own answers to her questions.

I try from time-to-time to sit and unpack "Ridley." (admittedly, it is not an easy task). I try to sort through the journey of the last 43 years. One of the things I must admit is that the changes that have occurred in me have been accelerated these last seven years. Life and death. Old and new. Changes that were planned and those that were unseen. It's crazy to try and unravel all that God has done in this time.

The greatest comfort comes from knowing there is a God--not just any god but a powerful, all-knowing and loving God--who is absolutely crazy about me. He sees me where I am, in the midst of the darkest moments and the highest celebrations. He loves me when I am the least lovable. He works behind the scenes of my life to bring things that I never thought possible.

Unraveling "me" is an ugly job. It comes with sins I'd rather ignore and faults that I'd like to wish away. But God's great love for me promises that He can take it all and make something worthwhile. I don't deserve any of it...and that's the beauty of what I see God doing. It's not mine to take credit for.

I share this just to say to you...He feels the same way about you. As you sit there feeling low, inadequate, ugly or insecure, know that He sees you differently. God came up with the word potential. Here is the cool thing, though. Potential does not depend on what you and I can do when we try harder; it depends on what He can do when we surrender more often. All He needs is a willing heart.

End times

2011-03-16T09:34:00.002-05:00

With the turmoil in the Middle East and the vicious earthquake that hit Japan, I've gotten a lot of questions regarding the end of time and what the Bible has to say. It's come from those near to me, like my daughter, as well as from some relative strangers in the community. I imagine most ministers get some kind of questions related to the subject when things like this happen. So, I thought I'd take this space today to answer the biggest question...are these signs that the world is about to end?

Yes...and no.

Allow me to explain. There is no doubt that what's going on in the world are indications that the end of time is coming. Matthew 24 leaves little room for question. There Jesus talks about wars, famines, earthquakes and the general "labor pains" of the world as it faces its end.

But we must remember two things. The same Bible also says no one--not even Jesus Himself--knows exactly when the day will be. For anyone--and I mean anyone--to predict a time and place is a waste of time and a warning that they don't have a clue what they are talking about.

Secondly, we have to remember we aren't the only ones to ask this question or to face difficult "signs." Americans in the 1860's were quite sure that the Civil War was a sign things were coming to a rapid conclusion...but no more than the rest of the world felt it during the The Great War (World War I). It was the largest war ever...until World War II came and convinced everyone that Jesus would be here any day. Even more recent conflicts like the Gulf Wars have raised the eyebrows of those who live in anticipation of the end time. Both of those wars brought a flood of books to the shelves about why this was the end. That's not all...

As bad as last week's earthquake was, it ranks seventh on the list of severity in the recorded history of such events. So, as afraid as we became last week with that event, can you imagine what others felt during those six tremors that ranked higher? Other events such as oil spills, large hurricanes (remember Katrina) and great blizzards have led people to announce the end was near.

Here is my point. Yes, it is very apparent that events and signs are all around us. Jesus said there would be. He also said they would increase in intensity. But there are many more signs to be fulfilled from Scripture before we face the end of the earth.

Now, this is the most important part. I shared this with a young man yesterday as we interacted about this very subject. We have two choices. We can live in fear of what we know is coming. Or, we can live with confidence that what is coming is not to be feared. The difference is Jesus and what you do with the reality of His existence. Deny Him and live in disobedience and you have much to fear. Know Him and surrender to His desires and you'll find great peace knowing that the future you question is a future He holds in His hands.

Japan

2011-03-15T11:21:00.004-05:00

The tragedy in Japan has resonated deeply with me this past week. I have watched, with a heavy heart, the images that are being broadcast from the island. There is such despair, such loss. And I have to be honest and tell you that it makes me think of April, 2004. The loss of my wife and son brought such a huge burden on me. But it was a burden I was able to withstand thanks to my faith in an all-surpassing God and amazing family and friends.

I began to think about the levels of hurt that are going on in Japan. It is one thing for a family to grieve as they are surrounded by their friends; it is something entirely different when that grief is just one in a mountain of those who are grieving.

There is no one in Japan who has not been effected by last week's disaster. With death tolls creeping higher and estimates saying that climb is not yet complete, the Japanese people are finding death and mayhem every where they turn.

But in the midst of this tragedy, my prayer has been not only for peace and healing. My prayer has also been that the people touched by this chaos would "stumble upon" the great God who delivered me and my kids through our own "quake." The God who moves mountains and stirs up the seas is the same God who is desperately seeking the people of that nation. He longs to have their hearts as His own. He will go to the ultimate lengths to reveal Himself to them. I pray that they will find Him amid all the rubble of their nation.

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46:1-3 NIV

Hugs

2011-03-14T18:25:00.002-05:00

I am a hugger. Always have been and I guess I always will be. Maybe it is because I come from a very affectionate and very large family. Maybe there is something deeper, more psychological at its core. Whatever the root of it, I have been told it makes me everything from loving to downright annoying. Nevertheless, I remain a hugger...whatever you think of me.

The way I see it, we live in a world where there is enough hatred, enough loneliness, enough pain and enough rejection. Heck, who in the world couldn't use a hug?

Apparently there are such people. This morning as I watched the news, I was shocked to find out that there is apparently some author who thinks we hug too much. Really? Are you serious? Too much?

This train of thought leads me to several questions. First, why would anyone feel this way? Was he not hugged enough as a child? Was this person hugged too much by someone he didn't like? What would lead someone to such a conclusion?

Secondly, why in the world did some publisher feel that this was a topic worth publishing...or, for that matter, why did the news organization feel like it was worth a headline on the news?

I believe in the power of touch. It communicates acceptance and love. It breaks down walls and removes fears. It can calm a child who is afraid and ease the pain of someone who is struggling. Yes, I'm a firm believer in the value of a good old-fashioned bear hug. Look, if there are things we are looking to cut out because we've got too much of it, I can give you a long list of nominations: taxes, awards shows, "Housewives" from any major metro city with their own TV show, Miley Cyrus sightings, and Charlie Sheen updates. Speaking of someone who needs a hug...

Prayer and new friends

2011-03-10T13:01:00.003-06:00

Lisa and I had a wonderful time with some new friends in New Jersey this week. As cool as it is to see God using Josh's story to bring positive change in the health care industry, it is a thousand times better to see how it opens doors for both of us to talk with the new people we meet. As we do, I am challenged again and again by the reminders that Scripture gives us to pray for each other.

I often wonder if God arranges these conversations more for the people I talk with...or for me. I'm being stretched. He is using these opportunities to show me how to love others, to have compassion for their needs. He's opening my eyes to the needs around me. And He is reminding me how critically important prayer is to Him...and me.

It's no mistake. Look at what Luke says in the New Testament.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. Luke 18:1 NIV

It's a good reminder for us. As I shared with a friend earlier today, I've never met a person whose prayers went unanswered. There are "yeses", "nos" and "not yets." The problem when someone says their prayer is unanswered is not that God has not heard, it's that He chose to answer in a way we didn't expect and we fail to recognize it. I encourage you, when God gives you a chance to pray--for your own needs or someone else's--pray with all your heart. Entrust every bit of every need to Him. Then trust that He will do what is best in the situation that lies before you. His answer may not be what you prayed for but it will always be what's best.

For my new friends in New Jersey, please know that Lisa and I have prayed for you since we left. You will be in our hearts and we thank God for each of you.

Thinking about...

2011-03-03T12:50:00.003-06:00

I've started this blog about four times. Seriously. I've gone from one thought to the next, from one topic to the next. None of them want to flow easily.

I had to ask myself why. I feel like my mind has been just a little bit overloaded. I heard someone say recently (I think it was Lisa) "the more you know, the more your heart can be burdened by what you know."

From time-to-time my heart can get burdened for what I know. Rather than a trickle of feelings, the thoughts will come like a flood. My mind is thinking about an adult friend who just realized that she has been in the church her whole life and has never been truly discipled in her faith. I'm thinking about an 11 year old kid who has anger issues and is making bad choices with school and his family. I'm thinking about a church friend who is torn between a brother with cancer and an elderly mom with pneumonia. I'm thinking about a blog reader who has been told by her friend that God can forgive everything but divorce. I'm thinking about a close buddy who has amazing knowledge, incredible leadership skills and tremendous drive...but can't get a job to support his family. I'm concerned for a dying aunt and my mother who is worried about her sister. There's also a friend who is hurting because his relationship with his daughter is broken and he's working hard to restore it. I could go on and on...

And to sit and dwell on these things would do no good. None. Instead of dwelling on them, I've had to give them all--one-by-one--to the God who knows each situation better than me. I've had to entrust them to His care because He cares more than I ever could.

I wish that had led me to some amazing words for your heart or some great challenge for you life as you read this blog today...

...maybe it did.

Hidden sin

2011-03-02T11:57:00.003-06:00

Mark Twain once said, "We are all like the moon; we have a dark side we don't want anyone to see."

I was talking with a friend earlier this morning about the dangers of that dark side, those hidden areas of our lives we want no one to know about. Whether it's a long history of repeated failures or a recent decision that has caused you to stumble, all of us will face the challenge of sin in our life. Let me share just a few of the dangers of hidden sin...

....hidden sin seldom stays hidden. It will eventually come out into the light and you (and everyone it effects) will have to deal with the consequences.

...hidden sin is like hidden disease--it makes no difference who knows about it, it still wreaks havoc on the one who carries it. Silently, without fanfare, it ruins your relationship with God and with others. It eats at you whether you acknowledge it or not.

...the longer that sin stays hidden in the human heart, the harder it is to root it out. Poor choices, broken relationships, addictions or dangerous behaviors can grow roots that are hard to dig out if we leave sin "unattended."

...Satan always makes us more afraid of revealing the sin than we should be. It is one of his favorite tactics as the "father of all lies." He makes us fear the things that most can help us. Exposed sin loses its lethal nature and becomes easier to deal with in the company of other Christ followers where there is accountability and encouragement.

Examine yourself. What lies on the "dark side" of your character? What areas of compromise or sin have you explained away or ignored or excused? Is there sin that you have justified as being no big deal? Healing begins with confession--bringing the sin out into the light. Find a brother or sister in Christ or talk with your spouse. Find someone you can trust who will speak to you honestly and lovingly.

The next step is repentance. This is the conscience decision to take your life in a direction 180 degrees away from the sinful past. Confession without repentance is anemic. It carries no power. Confession with repentance is the foundation of the gospel...it is life-changing.

Finally, there is accountability. The company of believers is the safest place for every sinner. There we find the strength to come clean and the help to be restored when we fail.

Remember it's much easier to deal with sin now than to let it spin your life out of control.

Ministering in loss

2011-03-01T09:06:00.002-06:00

It was--not sure if this is the best word or not--interesting to watch the responses of people after the accident, particularly those who knew me best. The funny thing was that when they came to offer me comfort, I often found myself reassuring them that their feelings were okay. I think many of them were at a complete loss for words, not knowing how to express their feelings. I assured them that words weren't necessary. Their presence was enough.

After the kids and I made our move back to Franklin, people who had known us from our previous time here became quickly involved. Some of them were too involved. Keep in mind there were those who I invited to come closer. My family, of course, was always ready and willing. They, along with the previously mentioned friends, were the ones I turned to when I had a need or simply wanted to talk.

But there were also friends who weren't as close who immediately became "more involved" than I desired. I chalk it up to what I mentioned above--not knowing what words to use. So, rather than using words, they did the only thing they knew to do which was to try and serve. Looking back, I thank God for every single one of them. At the time, it was annoying. I had people telling me how to raise my kids (as if my wife's death had suddenly made me an incapable dad) or wanting to show me how to wash my clothes (unfortunately, none of them felt compelled to take it on as a weekly service for their friend).

Hear me again when I say this: looking back I have a deeper appreciation for what they were doing and the ways that they were expressing their own grief. It was just that at that time it was very overwhelming and...invasive.

Some of you may be at that place right now. You've got a friend or family member who is going through a difficult time. Love them. Love them deeply. But be respectful of boundaries--real and implied. Don't force yourself into places where you don't get invited. Don't overwhelm someone when they are already overwhelmed with the situation before them. It's okay to say nothing...to just be present in their pain. The best way to know the difference? Ask...and then be respectful of the answer you hear. Your goal is to minister to them, not become a menace to them.

Ripples

2011-02-28T13:47:00.003-06:00

He wasn't much taller than me. I didn't know much about his past though the wrinkles in his face told a tale of many lessons learned over many years. Despite the large rims to his thick glasses, you could see the twinkle in his eyes every time he smiled. I couldn't tell you his age nor would I venture a guess. Such a thing would be disrespectful for a man who has accomplished so much in his life.

Our first meeting was over spaghetti after church. I was a young seminary student looking for a place to land while I lived in Texas. He was a retired doctor with a tremendous passion for God's kingdom and a special place in his heart for students like me. I knew the minute I met him that I liked him a lot.

We talked off and on over the months that I lived in Fort Worth. Even though I wound up attending another church, he would still recall my name when I made my infrequent visits back to his.

Near the end of my first semester, I found myself beyond broke. My parents weren't able to pay for all of my schooling and my part-time job was not enough to stop the "bleeding" of my funds. As those last few weeks were drawing to a conclusion, it was very apparent that, without help, I wouldn't be able to return. I wandered over to the financial aid office to make my appeal. The short answer was "No, this late in the semester there were no more funds available. Maybe I should try getting a job."

Needless to say, I was frustrated and down. I knew seminary was where God wanted me. I just didn't see how it was going to happen. The Director of Financial Aid excused me from his office saying he had a previous meeting that was about to start. I left, tears in my eyes. Not willing to give up, I plopped myself down on the couch right outside his door and began to pray. My plan was to petition God and wait for the door to open so I could start my pleading all over again.

I lifted my head from my prayers as the door to the waiting area opened. It was my friend, Dr. Howard. I was embarrassed for him to see me that way so I quickly dried my eyes and extended my hand in a friendly greeting. He saw right through me. After a few questions from him, I quickly relayed my predicament. He looked at me with that twinkle in his eye and said, "So you've prayed about this? You know this is where God wants you right now?" "Without a doubt I replied." This was his strange reply. "Then there is nothing else to worry about. Go on back to your room. God will take care of the rest."

I was dumbfounded but I followed Dr. Howard's suggestion. I had only been in my dorm room for about 5 minutes when the phone rang. It was the Director of Financial Aid. "Your tuition is taken care of for next semester. You can go ahead and enroll."

I was stunned. "Really? What happened? What changed in the last ten minutes?"

"You obviously have an important friend. Dr. Howard said your schooling would be taken care of. He's paid your bill and you are clear until Fall of next year. Congratulations."

Cool story. One I won't ever forget. Dr. Howard left a huge impact on me...and dozens of other students just like me. But I sometimes wonder, did Dr. Howard ever ask God, "What difference can I make? I'm just a doctor."

Because of one man's faithfulness, dozens of students became ministers and missionaries and teachers and church leaders. Those people, in turn, touched thousands of lives. One man chose not to ask "who me?" and instead asked "why not me?"

I challenge you to do the same. Find a way to take who you are and what you have and bless others. It may be a listening ear or a little bit of time or just a word of encouragement to "keep on moving." Who knows? But the ripples you create will extend over generations. The legacy you leave will be immeasurable.

Simple Pleasures

2011-02-22T13:35:00.001-06:00

One of the more difficult adjustments after Sarah's death was missing out on the conversations that we would have. I know this may sound odd but it's a huge gap that forms when the person you most wanted to talk to about life is no longer there.

For instance, there were huge decisions regarding our move back to Middle Tennessee to start Ridgeview Church. The decision itself wasn't so hard. Sarah and I had prayed about it for many months and had accepted the call to go back to Franklin the day before the accident. My heart knew it was the right thing to do.

But there were decisions about when to make the announcement to our church in South Georgia, when to make the move, where to move to, what kind of house we would live in, etc. I remember the day I walked into the house I bought in Franklin. I had a sickening feeling as I looked at rooms and layout and location. I wanted so desperately to talk with Sarah and get her feelings. I wanted to get a mother's opinion on whether it was the right place for Abby and Harrison. All of that was gone.

There were many days I'd come home from the church after we had moved. Some particular meeting or conversation I had that day would leave me wanting to talk with someone further, maybe even to vent a little bit. It just wasn't an option.

Oh, there were other friends around who were more than willing to talk. They just weren't Sarah. And I wanted desperately to look into her face and hear her voice and to find that heart that understood me so well. After being together for over a decade, she knew me better than anyone.

It makes my heart hurt even further when I hear about my friends who have lost loved ones (see my 2.21.11 post) or think about my mom, who lost my dad after almost 50 years together. The simple pleasure of hearing that person laugh, watching them eat across from you at the table or roll over on their side in the bed next to you.

I'm thankful for the woman that God has put in my life now. I'm thankful that He gave me another woman who understands me...puts up with me (God help her). I'm thankful for the simple pleasures that have been restored. My prayer is that anyone who finds themselves at that place right now--missing that friend or that spouse--that you would find perfect peace in a God who majors in the business of restoration.

Mr. Frank

2011-02-21T13:50:00.002-06:00

I know a hero when I see one. Our culture places that label on too many people who are undeserving often failing to recognize the true heroes that surround us. Kobe Bryant is no hero. He plays a kid's game for millions of dollars so he can act like he is above the law. Neither are most of the people who appear in our movies and our TV shows. There are a few exceptions...very few. But most of them approach life as if they are entitled to what they have, like we owe them something. Heroes understand that this is not the case.

I met a hero a few weeks ago. Actually, I met two of them. Their names were Frank and Ruth.

Lisa and I were in East Tennessee leading a marriage retreat for a friend's church. It was a great group of people who came from all stages of life. Frank and Ruth were a part of that group. Together they had spent over 63 years as a married couple. In that time, they had faced a lot of things together. A lot of things. The kind of things that cause most modern marriages to fail. Financial struggles. Disagreements. Tough times. But, together, they had faced them, overcome them and become stronger because of it.

Friday night at the retreat began with Mr. Frank sharing some of his best jokes. Then he and Ruth sang a couple of songs together. It's a moment I won't soon forget. By the time they had finished their second song, I was completely intimidated. How do you teach a couple that's been married 63 years how to improve their marriage? I wanted to give them the microphone and sit down and take notes.

In my own way, I did. I took notes all weekend. I watched two love-birds as they showed me what marriage is all about. They talked about faith. They joked and laughed a lot. They smiled often. He opened her door. She looked at him as if he had just walked off the high school football field and won her heart all over again.

Do you understand why they became my heroes? I only knew them for three brief days and they made a huge impact on Lisa and me. I was blessed because of the time we shared.

Last night, Mr. Frank went to be with Jesus--a sudden heart attack, I believe. I would appreciate your prayers for Ms. Ruth. Her best friend of 63 years is gone. But I have no doubt in my mind he has received his "heroes welcome." Thanks for running the race so well, Frank and Ruth. I was watching...and I was changed.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. Hebrews 12:1 NLT

Character

2011-02-16T11:05:00.003-06:00

I was impacted by a lot of forces growing up. There were teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth workers, coaches, neighbors, extended family, sisters and, of course, parents. One of the consistent messages I got from those people was that character matters. It was hammered home that my word should be true and that the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do to you) was still the best practice for life. The most important factor in my catching this concept was not just that people told me it was important. It sank in to my hard teenage head because the people who talked it lived it out.

Maybe that's why this message doesn't travel very far with many people today. We've got too many people saying one thing while actively living another. All around we watch as double standards are acted out on a daily basis. It starts with our government and permeates everything around us--our entertainment, our athletics, our educators and our relationships.

If you are as frustrated as I am with trying to raise kids in this kind of culture, you've probably been scratching your head in a search for the best way to make a change. How do you teach your kids to stand in the face of all the--dare I say it--hypocrisy that threatens to drown us all?

My answer? One heart at a time, starting with mine. Just like with the people who mentored and taught me, I cannot ask my kids to do something I'm not willing to do. My four children will never learn these truths if I don't live it out for them. I must be the one who is willing to speak truth, live with commitment and practice a Godly standard. This isn't magic, people. It's common sense. Unfortunately, such common sense is a rare commodity today. So here are the things I want my kids to know:

* Lying is wrong. Truth may be uncomfortable, but it's always right and never out of style.

*Commitment is good. Rather than preventing our freedom, it enhances it.

*Promises are meant to be kept. Once you make a vow, you better do your part to keep it.

*Hard work is awesome. If you want something, go out and earn it. Hand-outs suck away your will to do anything.

*Saving is good. Just because you have a dollar doesn't mean you have to spend it. In fact, if we would all learn the 10/20/70 principle, our economy would thrive. (The first 10% goes to God. The next 20% is to be saved. We learn to live off the 70%)

*Friendships are to be treasured...not used for some other purpose. True friends stick with others in the hardest of times.

*Family is forever. I don't like everything my family does. Guess what? They don't like everything I do. But we're still family.

*God is the most important thing. The world may tell you differently (they will 100 times a day) but God's plan for your life is the only one that matters. You and I live for an "audience of One."

I hope my kids get it. Heck, I hope I do. Because, in the end, God isn't worried about our comfort and convenience; He is worried most about our character (thanks to Rick Warren for that reminder).

Dating again

2011-02-15T12:40:00.003-06:00

I wasn't sure I wanted to date again. Well...that's not true. I had hated dating in high school. I knew I didn't want to date again. But I was still a little unsure about the marrying part. The daddy in me was torn because I wanted my kids to have a mom but I also didn't want to "expose" them to just anybody. Sarah had been such a wonderful mom, I was worried about undoing all that she had invested in them.

The man in me knew that being single and alone was hard, would be even harder once the kids were gone. But I also knew that I had two bigger priorities in my life--my kids and my new church.

So, when I finally got to the place where I was "comfortable" with dating, I embraced the opportunity with all the excitement of a root canal. One friend, early on, warned me about what was to come. He said, "Beware of women bearing casserole dishes." I should have listened. To this day, I believe that many of the dates had nothing to do with me or my personality or my character. They had everything to do with my job title.

You wouldn't believe the number of ladies I met where it became very apparent that they thought "Pastor Ridley" could fix their lives. Some were from broken marriages that had very ugly pasts. Others just had bad pasts that had left them broken. And as much as my personality wanted to fix every one of their problems for them, I had to be reminded that I was still in need of healing myself. So were the children.

I think that's why finding Lisa was so refreshing. Yes, Lisa had a broken past with some really ugly parts to it. Yes, there were parts of her background that weren't "just right." But unlike many of the other ladies (please notice I said "many" not "all"), she didn't come to me to see if I could fix her. She came to me because Someone else had already begun that healing for her. She dated Jesus first before she ever stepped out of the house to look for a new partner. Somewhere along the way, she rightly determined that she could never date another man until she was completely consumed with Jesus. It's a lesson she is still teaching our daughters to this day.

I thank God for that. Her relationship with God was what drew me to her and convinced me that she was the kind of person I could spend my life with, trust my kids with and partner in ministry with. Dating was a nightmare. But it ended in a dream come true because she needed Him more than she will ever need me. I pray it stays that way.

Valentine's

2011-02-14T15:06:00.004-06:00

One of the verses I quote often as I speak is Galatians 6:9.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

The meaning of this verse is not hard to comprehend...a long-term, continued effort to do good in our lives is hard but it will not go unnoticed by God nor will it go unrewarded with time. It's very seldom an easy to thing to do "good." As I tell my kids often, if doing good were easy, everyone would do it.

But this verse took a slightly different application as I read it during my quiet time earlier today. It is, after all, Valentine's Day. It is a day set aside to build the coffers of florists, card distributors, chocolate providers and restaurants. But that's a blog for another time.

It's also a day we set aside to do something good that we really should be doing all year long...letting people we love know how much we care.

My mind was drawn to my three daughters. (Now, before you jump to conclusions, I tell my wife numerous times every day how much I love her and my son does not go one day of his life without hearing me tell him I love him as well).

I simply think girls today have a unique challenge. They are brought up in a culture that repeatedly sends this message: anything less than perfect cannot be accepted. As a young female, you are expected to be talented like Taylor Swift, as smart as Condoleezza Rice (you were expecting another female), as beautiful as Catherine Zeta Jones, as athletic as Brandi Chastain...you get the picture.

That's why I believe that one of the "good" things I am expected to do for my daughters is to tell them how perfect they already are. They were created in the image of God, given unique personalities, incredible gifts and wonderful talents. To be anything else besides what they were created to be would be to spit in the face of the Artist who gave them life. I cannot grow weary in doing this because there is a chorus of voices telling them they are too short, too dumb, too goofy or too clumsy.

My words to them? They are too beautiful, too gorgeous, too just right for me to desire them any other way. And, if I don't grow weary in sending that message to them, what I reap in return is an incredibly beautiful, Godly young woman who believes that--with God's help--she can change this world. That's worth every ounce of investment I make in them (and in Lisa and Harrison too).

Here's a word of encouragement today. Let today be the first day of a million that you express your love and support of those God has put into your family. The person you "reap" on the other end will blow you away...and just might change your whole world.

Riggers

2011-02-10T12:14:00.002-06:00

Sitting at home as we "enjoy" snow day number 124...give or take a day or two. Actually, it wouldn't be so bad working from home every day if it weren't for the three kids who are running in and out (with their friends as well). They are more than a little distracting, especially when I'd rather be playing the Wii or in the snow with them. Anyway, got an e-mail from a new friend of mine who works in the health care industry. It was great so I thought I'd share it with you. (Thanks, Carole).

Carl Quintanilla of CNBC’s Squawk Box was on the road last week, broadcasting segments from across the United States. At the break of dawn on Friday morning, he was in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. A quick segment about US Army Parachute Riggers caught my ear…

Parachute Riggers, as it is, prepare equipment and supply containers for airdrop and also pack and repair cargo and personnel parachutes. As part of training, the Rigger jumps with the chute they pack. And by tradition, Riggers are required to be prepared to jump with any parachute packed by a US Army Parachute Rigger…without checking the log book for the name of the Rigger who last prepared it!

Rigger’s take a pledge:

· I will keep constantly in mind that until men grow wings their parachutes must be dependable.

· I will pack every parachute as though I am to jump with it myself, and will stand ready to jump with any parachute which I have certified as properly packed.

· I will remember always that the other man's life is as dear to him as mine is to me.

· I will never resort to guesswork, as I know that chance is a fool's gold and that I, a rigger, cannot depend on it.

· I will never pass over any defect, nor neglect any repair, no matter how small, as I know that omissions and mistakes in the rigging of a parachute may cost a life.

· I will keep all parachute equipment entrusted to my care in the best possible condition, remembering always that little things left undone cause major troubles.

· I will never sign my name to a parachute inspection or packing certificate unless I have personally performed or directly supervised every step, and am entirely satisfied with all the work.

· I will never let the idea that a piece of work is "good enough" make me a potential murderer through a careless mistake or oversight, for I know there can be no compromise with perfection.

· I will keep always a wholehearted respect for my vocation, regarding it as a high profession rather than a day-to-day task, and will keep in mind constantly my grave responsibility.

· I will be sure – always.

That’s strong. And it has strong implications for us spiritually as we lock arms together in our spiritual journeys, holding each other accountable. Re-read the pledge above and think about it in these terms: what if the spiritual well-being of your friend/spouse/family member depended on you "packing their chute"--a.k.a. holding their arms up in spiritual battle? Would they sink or soar?

Looking at those who walk this journey with me and who count on me for accountability, I cannot assume. It's irresponsible for me to pass over any defect, nor neglect any repair, no matter how small, as I know that omissions and mistakes may send my friend into a spiritual tail-spin. We need each other. That's why we talk at Ridgeview, all the time, about doing life together. NONE of us are capable of doing it on our own. We all need spiritual "riggers" in our life who can catch us when we fall. I hope you are doing that for someone in your journey...and that you are counting on others to do the same for you.

Pretending

2011-02-09T14:47:00.002-06:00

It was the summer before my junior year of high school. The father of a teammate had called and asked if I would be interested in some part-time work to earn a little money. I was thrilled. Just like any high school boy, I needed some cash to fill up my car and to pay for my dates. So, I jumped at the chance to work at his full-service gas station (that should tell you how long ago this was).

I was thrown right into the fire at a place I didn't belong. I had no clue what I was doing. Pumping the gas was the easy part. I had that down with no problem. It was the other 75% of the work that was killing me. Replacing tires, changing oil, replacing belts--I wasn't even sure I could find half of that stuff on a car, much less fix it. I know I must have looked like a fool.

Recognizing my, er, "limitations", the owner of the station put me onto a simpler task. The station offered a car washing service where we would pick up and return your cars for you. So, one day, I arrived at the station to find this incredible, black Ford Cobra sitting in the washing area. This was the kind of car a teen age boy could dream of owning. It was amazing! I washed it quickly, making sure that she was shining like the sun. I hollered to Kevin's dad that she was finished. Then, the most amazing thing happened. He tossed me the keys and said, "Drive the car over to the hospital for me. It's a manual (stick-shift). Can you handle that?"

"Yes, sir!" I replied. What an idiot! I didn't have a clue. I had never even sat in the driver's seat of a stick-shift, much less driven one. And I sure didn't need to be driving this one. But the excitement of driving that car for all of my friends to see (remember, it was a smaaalll town) was just too much for my common sense. I was about to learn a valuable lesson.

The route from the station to the hospital took me around the square of the small town. I got her started and into first gear easily enough (I knew that much from watching my friend, Scott, drive his car). That's as far as I could go. I couldn't get her into second gear. Every time I tried, the car would just make this awful grinding noise.

Picture this...proud young man driving a high-powered sports car. He's about to round the square in the middle of the day when it's at its busiest. And he's driving this sleek machine in first gear...with an occasional grinding noise from his attempts to change the gears.

I was completely humiliated. I passed friends, neighbors, and complete strangers. There were kids passing me on their bicycles and farm trucks honking at me to pull over so they could pass. The three mile drive seemed like an eternity. But I was too proud to admit that I couldn't handle it on my own.

I lost more than my pride that day. I lost my job. But I learned an important lesson about integrity and pretending to know more than you really do. If I had just been man enough to say "no," I could have saved myself from all of the problems. But I chose otherwise.

There is nothing good about pretending to be something you're not. While you may look good riding down the road, the "grinding noises" will give away what's really on the inside. People will know you for who you really are. When the pressure gets intense, what is on the inside will begin to show. You'll lose more than you gain. You'll find nothing but frustration as you try to keep up a facade and pull off your hypocrisy. In the end, it always comes back to bite you.

I've since learned to drive a stick-shift and can find the dipstick on my engine to check my oil. I even think I regained my "cool points" before the summer came to an end. But the lessons on integrity from that summer have lingered to this day. I am who God made me. I should never apologize for being anything but that.

Trusting my kids to God

2011-02-08T13:29:00.003-06:00

One of the important questions that faced me as we picked up the pieces that Spring was how I would parent my kids going forward. I had just buried one child, we had lost another a few years back to a miscarriage. So there were many thoughts rolling in my head about losing another child and trying to shelter them from everything.

I can't lie. There was a temptation to pull them close and not let them out of my sight. There was a strong desire to let no one else near them, to believe that I was the only one who could care for them like they needed to be cared for.

My sisters reminded me otherwise. I think it was at different times that they came to me (obviously led by God) and told me that "sheltering" the kids wasn't an option. They were right. I had to be reminded these kids aren't mine in the first place. God has entrusted them to me to care for them but ultimately they are His.

As their father, I can do everything I want to love them, guide them and protect them...but at the end of the day, it is all up to God. He is the one that cares for them most (based on how much I love them, I know He must love them beyond my comprehension). Leaving them in His hands--after I've done all I can do--is the best option for their future.

It was true then, it's still true.

I have to keep repeating that to myself as Harrison gets ready to drive. Have I taught him how to brake properly? How to put on a seat belt? Not to play the radio too loud or to look away from the road for too long? Those questions have replayed in my mind a thousand times this last year as he has worked on his driving.

Now, it's God's turn. I must do with Harrison (and my other three kids) what I did for both of them after the wreck. I must guide them, pray for them and then....turn them loose into the hands of an all-knowing, deeply compassionate God. He will take care of the rest.

Can I just encourage you to do the same with your kids? All of our kids go through junk. It's part of living on this earth. They may not have lost a mom or a brother but their junk is just as deep, just as painful. Maybe they didn't get picked for the team. Maybe their friends made fun of them. Maybe they failed at their first chance at something. Maybe mom or dad walked out a long time ago and they have made that a personal thing. Whatever your child faces, they should never have to face it alone. But it's not you they need. It's Jesus.

Give your children what they need to learn, to grow, to prosper. Then give them to God knowing His desires for them are far greater even than yours. (Ephesians 3:20).

Loving your leaders

2011-02-07T12:51:00.004-06:00

There seems to be something going on in the Barron house. Strangely, it has hit Lisa and I at the same time. I don't know what name to give it nor can I give you all of the symptoms. But it has a striking resemblance to spiritual warfare.

This may shock you (or it may not) but pastors and their families go through this quite frequently. For years I have warned young men and women that when they decide to become leaders in the church, they put a bulls-eye on their back. They make themselves a prime target for the enemy. So, neither Lisa nor I are surprised when the enemy rears his ugly face and decides to strike.

What makes it hard is when he goes after both of us at the same time. If you were at RCC, you picked up on the "funk" yesterday. Lisa had a bad Saturday. I had a bad Friday. We both had a bad weekend. By the time I got to church yesterday, I was simply praying that God would get me from one minute to the next.

I can't tell you how much it meant to see the people who reached out to Lisa, who prayed for her and encouraged her. That's what leaders need when these dark moments come (and they WILL come). I want to encourage my non-Ridgie readers to think about what I just described to you as it relates to your pastor and other church leaders where you are. They need you. They need your prayers. They need your encouragement.

So as I sat here this morning thinking over the last 3-4 days, I started to think about my other friends in ministry. Guys who have invested in me and love me. Our church planters from Minnesota to North Dakota to Thailand. I thought about younger guys who I have tried to invest in. Each serves in leadership. Each fights their own personal battles as they follow after Christ. Each is dear to me.

I want to invite you to love on your church leaders today. It doesn't have to be extravagant. It won't cost you a thing. It may be as simple as an email to say you prayed for them. Maybe it's a cup of coffee. Maybe you can offer a compassionate ear as a leader's spouse finds a safe place to unload her worries and fears or to talk about his struggles. Whatever it is, remember, they are people too. They carry a tremendous burden for you and a huge responsibility before God. And, just like you, they need to do life in the community of other Christ followers.

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you. Hebrews 13:17 NAS

As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. 1 Samuel 12:23 NIV

Respect

2011-02-03T12:14:00.002-06:00

My son has been serving this year as the manager for the basketball team at the high school he attends. I've been very proud of the way he has served the coach and his players while balancing church and his school responsibilities. Of course, with those responsibilities and the necessary travel to away games, there have been some fairly late nights coming in from the school.

Inevitably, Harrison wants to come in and give me his version of a "Sportscenter recap" of the game. I have noticed a troubling trend in his recaps. Every game (this is not an exaggeration) Harrison has talked about the behavior of the crowds as much as he has about the game itself. There have been unsportsmanlike chants, throwing of items, "moonings", and the use of extreme language. The last game even required a police escort for referees leaving the gym.

So, last night on the way to church, I questioned Harrison about the behavior of these fans (not just from his high school but it seems like every opponent as well). He and a neighborhood kid that we take to church on Wednesdays began to recount Tuesday's game and the fan behavior. Then, an alarming statement came out of Harrison's mouth that was confirmed by the other boy. "Dad, that's just what fans are supposed to do. They are supposed to get on the ref and ride the other team."

Yikes! Since last night, I have thought about that statement (I quickly corrected the boys last night as we rode). Is this what we are teaching our kids...that appropriate behavior for a fan is to cuss vehemently at an official, even to the point of requiring police escorts? Maybe a harder question to answer is this, am I the reason Harrison believes this? Or is this a cultural thing that our society is teaching our children?

Don't get me wrong. I have been known to challenge a call or to "talk loudly" at the TV while watching my teams play. (Lisa would call it yelling but we all know that pastors don't do that). In my coaching days, I would stand my ground with officials when I felt like they were missing calls. But, I've always made a point to "reconcile" with them afterwards by thanking them and letting them know I appreciated their work (I've also spent many hours as the official in games from little league to college intramurals. I know what that feels like).

I clicked on the sports page this morning as the thoughts were still churning. I read as fan after fan blamed poor outcomes on officials, poor coaching and unfair conditions. While I, as a dad, have to take responsibility for my behavior, I think we all have a responsibility to think about our actions. Beyond just officials, I'm afraid our kids are learning that it is cool to question authority and even cooler if you can make those authority figures look like fools, all in the name of coming out on top. I see it every time I visit kids at the local school to do my mentoring. Even the prestige of being President of the U.S. no longer exempts you from the public ridicule.

If you are a teacher, coach, official, youth minister...you get the idea...you deserve better than bad behavior from poorly taught children. You deserve the respect that comes from bearing your title. You deserve to be treated as a human being. You deserve better than what I hear coming from the stands at the local high school. I'm one dad who is willing to try and make a difference. I just hope I'm not too late in demonstrating to my kids...it's just a game.

In the future, I hope I can scream "Go Dawgs!" without having to discredit myself with poor behavior. And, in some small way, maybe we can rebuild a culture where teens respect the wisdom that comes from age and experience.

¹² Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. ¹³ Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

¹⁷ Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you. Hebrews 13:17

³² “‘Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God Leviticus 19:32

My first blizzard...almost

2011-02-02T12:50:00.002-06:00

Lisa and I had the opportunity to be in Detroit this week for a speaking engagement. As we prepared for our trip on Sunday, we began to hear rumblings about a potential "weather event" in the upper Midwest, including the city of Detroit. Our plans called for us to fly up on Monday afternoon, speak Tuesday and Wednesday morning and then fly back on Wednesday afternoon.

Needless to say, the news was a little unsettling to Lisa--someone who doesn't enjoy the prospect of landing and taking off in good weather, much less two feet of snow.

But we packed and proceeded with our plans knowing that the event organizers would contact us if things needed to change because of the impending weather. Monday afternoon, we arrived at the airport in Nashville. About 25 minutes before we were to start boarding, my phone rang. It was the organizer wondering if we had boarded the plane yet. The short version was that they were worried about what was to come and wanted to know if we were willing to come and what our flexibility was like. I groaned. I really wanted to do the event but I also understood their concerns. As I told the lady at the Avis Rental counter in Detroit, "When the natives are restless about what's coming, it's not some place that a Southerner needs to be stuck."

Anyway, we went. We were only able to get one day of the conference in. We had a great time with the incredible people of St. John Providence Health Systems (the time was too short but great nonetheless) and we caught the last flight out of Detroit before the nastiness hit.

But it was a refreshing time, a great chance to listen to people who get what quality and excellence are all about. I was very pleased to listen to their leaders as time and time again they talked about two things: call and remembering that the bottom line is people.

Those are two very important things that would change the way that most of us look at our relationship with others, the way we see our churches, the way we understand our call to serve others. In the places we are placed, God has put a call on our lives. He desires us to serve this world with gifts and talents and personalities that are uniquely ours. We can never forget that--lost among the campaigns and blogs and tweets and programs and buildings--God simply loves people. At the end of the day, He asks us to do the same.

I'm glad to be safely back in Nashville where it's a balmy 28 degrees last time I checked. More important, I'm thankful for the reminder to us all--Jesus came for people. Then He asked us to set aside our desires and do the same.

Chick-fil-a

2011-01-31T09:35:00.002-06:00

Okay. This will be a quick one and maybe it won't be so popular. But I have to vent just a little before I hit the road this afternoon.

I was watching the news last night when I heard this report. Chick-fil-a is catching grief because they supplied food to a pro-family group in Pennsylvania for a conference they were having. Pro-homosexual groups are furious and calling for Chick-fil-a (CFA) to change their policies.

How intolerant can the pro-homosexual groups get and how long will we stand by and allow them to be this way?

If CFA was donating food to the "Witches of Eastwick" you'd hear nothing but crickets from these groups. If they were donating food to feed dogs on the street, no one would care. But you allow an organization to support something that doesn't line up with the pro-homosexual policies and suddenly CFA is the target of all their wrath.

This isn't about what I believe (most of you probably know that any way). This is about this whole "tolerance" movement that wants to silence everybody but the people who support them. CFA is a privately held corporation. They do not discriminate in their hiring nor in who they serve at their restaurants. They do, however, just like any other organization, have a right to support whatever and whomever they choose without getting a black-eye from the media and pro-homosexual groups.

After all, isn't that what tolerance is all about?

I submit to you that tolerance is not what these organizations desire...it's control. They want to control what others think, what they do and who they do it for. Last time I checked, that's as intolerant (and two-faced) as any one can get.

But it's just another reason for me to find a CFA today and encourage you to do the same. It's the tolerant thing to do.

Transforming me

2011-01-26T12:09:00.002-06:00

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5 NIV

I was giving some thought to this verse this morning. Like many of you, I have read this verse many times. I've heard sermons and Bible studies on the meaning of these words. Heck, I've even preached a few of those messages. On the surface, it seems like a pretty obvious statement. The Bible is clear that, once we choose to follow Jesus, our hearts and minds are in this process of transformation. God wants us to be like Jesus.

This morning, I had to ask myself this question. Do I really understand what such a transformation can and will do for me?

I like to believe that God is doing something cool in me. I like to believe that I am further in this journey than I was ten years ago...or even last week. But closer inspection causes me to understand what having the mind of Christ really means...and what it would look like if I were even close.

Jesus was unselfish. I tend to fail on that one. Jesus was able to control his emotions and channel those emotions into productive forms. Five minutes of the UGA basketball game last night would have let you know there is still work to be done in this category. Jesus loved His Father and was obedient to death. I'm trying. I really am. But I'm still lacking in this category as well. Jesus talked of loving his enemies and praying for them. Sometimes my prayers for my enemies leave much to be desired. Jesus loved the whole world--all of us--without thought of convenience or comfort or...his own life. I catch myself forgetting that there is even 7 billion other people on this planet.

This, if for no other reason, is why reading the Bible is so important (at least for me). It is that constant reminder that my life is a work in process. I'm moving in the right direction but I haven't arrived. It's a journey. And this journey is pretty much a life-long deal. God's Word encourages me to embrace the changes and to allow Him to do what He does best.

No, I don't have the mind of Christ. Not yet. Not completely. But one of the sweetest promises of Scripture comes from this same letter by Paul.

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. Philippians 1:6 Message

Living through Saturdays...

2011-01-25T15:45:00.002-06:00

After the wreck, I was forced to the realization that while Sarah and Josh's lives had ended prematurely...mine had not. Nor could I let it. On April 8th, the day before the wreck, Sarah and I had been thrilled to find out that our former church was inviting us back to Franklin, TN to plant our next church. Sarah had always loved middle Tennessee and, for both of us, we saw it as a chance to go home and continue God's work. Just a few days later, our friend and former pastor from the church would call to ask if I was still up to the move with all that had happened. I knew what my answer had to be. My life was still yet to be lived. There were still chapters to be written and pages to be turned. My kids needed their dad. God still had a plan. And no matter how violently my life had been shaken on that Good Friday, the wreck had not knocked God off of His thrown.

Jesus died on Friday. You and I can hardly understand the depth of emotion the disciples must have felt on that Saturday. Maybe that's why the Bible doesn't talk about it much. Surely there were questions. How could they give three years of their lives only to wind up huddled in a room? There were fears. Could it be that everything Jesus said about himself was wrong? I am sure there was anger and confusion and, maybe, there was talk of quitting.

Don't you imagine that at least a couple of the disciples that Saturday were thinking about going back to their previous lives? Fishermen, a doctor, a tax collector. There may have been a few who even thought of following Judas' lead. Let's face it. This was no ordinary death. The man who had led them for the last three years was gone. They were not living just any old Saturday.

But if they had quit--if they had decided to turn their back and walk away--they would have missed out on Sunday. They would have missed the most significant event in all of human history. They would have missed the chance to have their fears erased, questions answered, and doubts wiped away...all because they decided to quit.

I was facing that same choice. My wife died on Friday. My world was shaken to its core. I won't lie. I can't. There were days that I just wanted to withdraw or quit. It was so tempting to let life happen to me as it chose rather than choosing to intentionally make my life happen. But look at all I would have missed.

I would have missed out on pastoring this amazing church. I would have never had the privilege of watching my kids grow up to fulfill God's plan for their lives. I would have never known the blessing of two new daughters in Landon and Morgan. I would have never met Lisa, would have never known love again, would have never seen God use our marriage the way He has.

Some of you who read this have shared your stories with me. You've had your share of "Fridays"--the tragedies and trials and struggles that touch all of us. Right now, you are in the midst of your Saturday--questioning whether or not your life is worth the struggle and facing the fears that confront you. Let me assure you, know matter what Friday was like or what you are facing on Saturday...Sunday is worth the wait. It was for me. It was for those first disciples.

God has been in the business of turning trial into triumph. He loves to make winners out of those the world considers losers. Just keep holding on, believing that everything you face will be used by God for His glory. Sunday is just around the corner...

The fine art of marriage

2011-01-24T15:19:00.004-06:00

I'm about to get very transparent here. Maybe uncomfortably so (I'll let you know when I'm done). But I think transparency is one of those weapons we have been given to battle Satan that we don't use often enough.

Marriage is hard. Entertainer Roberta Flack once said, "Getting married is easy. Staying married is difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts."

I didn't feel like much of an artist this weekend. I (I think it's safe to speak for Lisa and say "we") were in one of those situations where the "hardness" of marriage showed itself. We weren't on the same page. Everything we said to each other came out wrong. My pride was acting in full force. My temper was rearing its ugly head. I'll say it again...I wasn't in my best form.

Reflecting back on the disagreements of the weekend, there is much for this hard-headed fool to learn. I hope the lessons are ones that you will take to heart. (It might save you from an "animated" conversation or two).

1. There is no room for pride in your marriage if you hope to stay married. Humility makes for a great relationship.

2. Sometimes its better to step away from the conversation for a little while before you go any further. It gives God time to knock you upside the head and prevent you from saying stupid things.

3. Marriage is a lot of work. If you believe anything else, you are setting yourself up for failure. "Happily ever after" doesn't belong in your marriage. It belongs in the book of Revelation where Christ will come and make everything right. Everywhere else in (real) life it's just a fantasy.

4. I am a lucky man. No matter how stupid I get or how hard my head is or how crazy life gets out of control, I have been blessed with an amazing woman who has promised to face ALL of life with me---even the stinky times.

5. I'm in love. Not because I always "feel" like it (nor does she) but because I know with all my heart that God has given me a very good thing. And as long as I'm willing to follow Him, I'll get to be blessed by her.

Look, I'm human. Sometimes I feel like I should be on one of those shows with the "stupid human tricks." Thankfully, no one has a camera around when I start to get foolish or selfish. To me there is no more beautiful picture than when a couple--bearing all the scars of their time together--are able to talk about a shared life that goes the distance. That's what I dream about for Lisa and me.

We have a long way to go. We've just begun our life together. But I can't wait to see what God is going to do through this partnership He has given us. My prayer for my married friends (and those who have not yet taken that step) is that you would treasure the precious gift of marriage...and prepare yourself for the battles that make it worthwhile.

Lisa and I survived our weekend. After the dust had settled and we (mainly me) got to be more reasonable, we saw it for what it was. It wasn't my fault...and it wasn't hers. It was just another attempt by the enemy. Those attempts are best thwarted with grace, prayer, understanding, love and commitment. Thankfully, I have found all five in Lisa.

There, that transparency thing wasn't so bad, was it?

Choices

2011-01-20T14:49:00.004-06:00

The world is filled with too many choices. Paper or plastic? Vanilla or chocolate? Mac or PC? Eat in or dine out? Just when I think I'm starting to get a grasp on things, someone offers a new one. It's the new and improved version of...you fill in the blank. I think there is a conspiracy to overwhelm us with choices. Why else would we be given some of the choices we have? Seriously, how many different ways do we need to sweeten our tea...blue, pink, yellow or white? (of course, we all know the only way to sweeten tea is by pouring one cup of pure granulated sugar into the bottom of a gallon jug. No other "sweet" tea will suffice).

To verify that choices can be a problem, just ride along with Lisa and I when we are deciding where to go to eat. The conversation typically goes something like this:

Me: "So, what are you wanting for dinner tonight?"

Lisa: "I don't know. What do you want?"

Me: "I don't know. I don't have a taste for anything in particular (translated: "have you ever known me not to eat something?")

Lisa: "Neither do I. Why don't you pick?"

Me: (slightly frustrated) "Because I really don't have a preference. I'll eat whatever you want to eat."

Lisa: (slightly more frustrated) "I don't care. How come you never tell me where you want to eat?"

We usually take longer to ride around and decide than we do to sit down and eat.

The reason for our dilemma? There are too many choices. Dine in or dine out? Fast food or live longer? American or International? Recognizable food or fancy dish with stupid name? When we finally make a decision, pull into the restaurant and get through the front door, you know what we are greeted with..."Would you like a table or a booth?"

Now, take the conversation above and add 4 kids to it. Or apply it to trying to decide what show to watch on TV or what movie to see or where we're going for vacation or what meat you want with your salad tonight. It's enough to make a man become a vegetarian (okay, I exaggerate. Nothing could make me do that!)

Thankfully, when it comes to the most important choice there is, God gave us one option. God...or no God. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. There is no room for a "God-lite." There is no option "C--all of the above." We don't get to add choices like the ones the tolerance crowd want to throw in--"same God, just a different version."

The choice is really plain and simple. The choice is yours. You either believe and surrender or you choose your way. Make no mistake about it. It's all or nothing. You can't be mostly on God's side. The choice is truly yours...and no choice is not an option.

Now, if I could just decide...plain or peanut?

"If you decide that it's a bad thing to worship God, then choose a god you'd rather serve—and do it today....As for me and my family, we'll worship God." Joshua 24:15 Msg

Discouragement

2011-01-19T10:02:00.002-06:00

Discouragement can be a part of life. Let's face it. Life on this planet has always been difficult and there are no promises that it will ever get better this side of heaven. Life can be unfair, challenging, frustrating, overwhelming, too fast-paced...feeling encouraged yet?

One of the biggest reasons we get discouraged is due to something that is completely under our control. It's perspective. A temporary loss of perspective can throw our lives out of kilter. I thought about that as I re-read this part of the story of the Hebrew people in Numbers 11:

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost--also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. but now, we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna. Numbers 11:4-5 NIV

I shake my head in disbelief every time I read this passage. Talk about a loss of perspective. "Fish at no cost?" Are you kidding me? You guys were slaves...lower than the animals in the eyes of your masters. The Israelites had gotten their perspective so out of whack that they forgot God's provisions--deliverance from slavery, parted seas, water from rocks, manna in the middle of a desert.

But you and I can get the same attitude about our lives. Sometimes I'll start to feel sorry about my "sad lot in life" then God sends someone or something to jerk me back into line. I have plenty to eat, clothes on my back, relatively good health for a 43 year old, an amazing wife, very good kids...I could go on and on. How can I get discouraged about my life when I read of those who go to bed hungry at night or the ones who wake up day-after-day to face the same terminal illness that has plagued them for months?

It may seem old-fashioned but the best remedy for discouragement is the regular practice of--wait for it--thankfulness. That's right. Just simply acknowledging all you have been blessed with by God can take the gloomies and turn them into a right attitude. Your heart becomes full of the right thoughts and, unlike our Hebrew friends above, you develop an appetite for God. Otherwise, our cravings turn to things in this world that bring nothing but more frustration, more discouragement. And, if we aren't careful, we find ourselves longing for enslavement yet again. Now, who in the world would want that?

Dandelions

2011-01-18T13:44:00.003-06:00

Walter Wink, professor at Auburn Theological Seminary, once said, "Killing Jesus was like trying to destroy a dandelion seed-head by blowing on it." Obviously, Dr. Wink was saying that Jesus' death played right into the hands of God's plan, spreading the Gospel message far and wide. Jesus' resurrection did more to spur the teachings of God than any single event before or since. Why? Because the power that Christ displayed over death that fateful day changed the lives of His followers in radical ways. Guys who had denied Him just a few days before were encouraged to stand boldly in the streets of Jerusalem and proclaim that He was the Son of God. Men who had fled from the fear of being arrested would later face death by stoning, the sword or crucifixion because they understood the "power that raised Christ from the dead."

It was my belief in that same power that gave me strength in the days after the wreck. When I was asked by my church's leadership who would preach on Easter Sunday (two days after the wreck) I told them I would. I honestly wasn't sure if I could do it. Nor was I completely sure that I wanted to. Something inside just told me that, if I couldn't stand and preach on the resurrection after what my family had been through, no one else could.

Without the resurrection, Christ-followers are the most pitiful of all subjects. We waste our lives in worship of an impotent God if Jesus wasn't raised from the dead. While doubt and fear would enter my mind over the next several months, I would come back time-and-time again to this one, life-changing truth: the tomb is empty. Always has been!

Just as in the first century, Jesus' death was still empowering believers to lead others to the truth. I was afraid. No doubt. I was mourning the loss of my best friend that Easter Sunday morning (Josh would die three days later). But the promise that Sarah was in Heaven, the hope that I would some day see her again, compelled me to preach...continues to this day to compel me again and again.

"For His returning we watch and we pray

We will be ready the dawn of that day

We'll join in singing with all the redeemed

Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King."

I get asked a lot about how I was able to carry on in the aftermath of April 9, 2004. Here is the answer that Paul gave...that I give:

18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, 20which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms... Ephesians 1:18-20 NLT

I have a dream...

2011-01-17T12:41:00.002-06:00

You mention the word "vision" in most settings and you won't get much of a reaction. In fact, the word carries a positive feel. Everyone loves to follow a leader who has vision. We love to read or hear the stories of visionary leaders from history who changed the status quo by their willingness to share a vision. But you mention the word "vision" in a lot of church settings and you get an uncomfortable look from most. It's most often associated with fringe churches or over the top leaders (most of which follow the word "vision" with the phrase "pull out your checkbook").

But vision is very much a part of who we are to be in Christ. The Scriptures talk about the importance of vision.

Where there is no revelation (vision), the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law. Proverbs 29:18 NIV

It's important, as Christ followers, that we have visions or dreams. They can range from individual achievement (a vision for how you want to live your life) to your family (how you want to raise your children); from your career (where you want to be five years from now) to your country (Martin Luther King had a dream that has left an awesome impact on our nation). Dreams and visions are essential to who we are. But here is the catch: a dream that doesn't line up with God's purpose leads to chaos. In fact, it's a practice in frustration. Your dreams for your life and those of your family rest in the hands of an all-knowing and infinitely compassionate God. He alone knows what is best for you. So it's always best when our dreams for our lives are aligned with His.

No one can doubt the power of what Dr. King "dreamed" that day on the mall in Washington, D.C. The dream of white children and black children standing together regardless of the color of their skin. It was a dream birthed in the heart of God and lived out through one, very powerful life.

Your dreams and visions can be equally powerful. But they must be first found in the heart of God. To find what's in the heart of God, you and I must seek to know the heart of God. That begins with searching His Word and talking with Him daily (dare I say minute-by-minute?)

Our society is in desperate need of more people to stand before the world and say, "I have a dream..."

Here's to seeking the heart of God...and being willing to dream the God-sized dreams He has for all of us.

Justice

2011-01-13T12:18:00.002-06:00

"It's not fair!"

If you've got kids of your own, you've heard these words on many occasions. In fact, if you're capable of remembering back to your own childhood, you probably mumbled them yourself a time or two. I know that might kids have become quite proficient in declaring injustice, able to do it in at least four different languages (with or without eye rolling).

Let's face it, none of us likes injustice. We believe that good should conquer evil. It is right for the good guy to win. There are some things that just should not happen or it's considered "unfair."

But justice is not limited to childhood fantasies. As adults, we all have had times when we wanted to scream "unfair" at the world we live in. When the younger guy gets the raise you had been promised, it's unfair. When the dishonest neighbor always seems to get away with everything, it's unfair. When a politician cheats his constituents and betrays their trust, it's unfair (fairly common these days but still...unfair).

A word of caution. As we scream injustice at a world run amok with unfair events, let me remind you that justice isn't always what we're seeking. Sometimes, it's our special interests we're really looking out for. But while we are screaming for justice from everyone else, we must remember that God desires justice too...from us.

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 NIV

However, living justly and demanding justice from others should always be coupled with mercy. Don't agree? Then wait for the day you have to stand before God and say, "God, give me what I deserve. I want you to be fair."

No, fairness isn't what we seek. It's mercy. And if we seek it for ourselves we should be willing to offer it to others. To do that, you and I must learn to walk humbly with God. Justice is good. Always will be. But, as believers, we must learn to offer mercy to those who have experienced the unfair nature of the world we live in...even if they are the cause.

Being "The man"

2011-01-12T15:25:00.002-06:00

I was reading this passage a few days ago from the Old Testament story of Abraham:

For Abraham will become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord and do what is right and just. Then I will do for him all that I have promised. Genesis 18:18-19 NLT

Read it again...carefully, especially the bold parts. God had singled Abraham out to be a leader. He was going to be the father of many nations...the grand patriarch of Israel...the one through which the whole world would be blessed. In that process, Abraham would become wealthy, prosperous, widely known in the Middle East and respected by royalty. In modern terms, he would be "the man."

But notice where his responsibility began, where it all hinged. The great leader of nations must first become a leader for his family...and their families as well. Then--and only then--would God carry out His promise to bless Abraham and make him a man among men.

God was setting a precedent of expectation for all men, from that day to this. He was saying "your first and greatest priority in your life is your family." It is your role as the leader of your family to teach them justice, demonstrate love, grant mercy and lead them into righteous acts. And this is best done, not by telling them how to do it, but by showing them with your own life.

No wonder so many of our homes are in a mess. Most dads--if they are even in the home at all--have abdicated the role that God deemed most significant.

Hear me, men. If you want to know the full promises of God as reality in your life, you better start making a priority out of the things God says are important. Your career doesn't matter. Your hobbies are way down the totem pole. Your popularity is irrelevant. What God cares most about is the legacy you are building with your wife and kids. Mess that all up and you've blown the whole deal.

Make time to love your wife and kids the way they deserve and God demands. I guarantee you that all other things fall into place when you put God's plan first in your life.

what might have been

2011-01-11T13:32:00.004-06:00

Harrison turned 16 this past Sunday. Hard to believe that he is that old. From time-to-time, like so many parents, I like to look back at old photos and see how much he has changed and how far he has come. Last week, in the final days before his birthday, I found myself thinking about those changes, especially over the last 6 -1/2 years since the accident.

I know this next statement may sound a little crazy but, hey, I'm just being honest. I wonder often what Sarah thinks about the way I'm raising the kids. I'm sure there were many times, during the three years I was a single dad, that she was up in heaven just moaning at some of the boneheaded things I did. Now, with Lisa's help, I watch Harrison grow into a young man and Abby develop into the young lady we had prayed for since the beginning. But I still catch myself second-guessing things I did and, occasionally, patting myself on the back because I handled something well.

Both of my kids were extremely close to their mother. I think the hardest prayer I prayed in the post-accident days (maybe the hardest I ever prayed for anything) was that God would help navigate my kids through their loss and make them into what Sarah and I had prayed for. I'd like to think we're close. I'd like to think that my stubbornness or busyness or hard-headed attitude or anger...that they haven't interfered with what God intended from the beginning with those two.

I guess any parent wonders. Wonders how certain choices may impact their kids' future--the divorce or the career change or the relocation or the loss of a loved one. I know Lisa and I have talked about that with all of our kids. We all try to imagine the "what-ifs" surrounding those life changing decisions. But there's really no use in giving in to the temptation to ask...we just can't go back again. In fact, it's much wiser to leave that concern in the hands of the only One who will ever really know anyway.

Flicker

2011-01-06T10:22:00.003-06:00

Back a few weeks ago, I walked into the house from work to catch one of my kids standing in the pantry. Now, that's not an unfamiliar place for them after school, so I didn't think much about it. As I made my way through the den toward the bedroom, Abby caught me out of the corner of her eye. "Dad, you've got to do something about this light bulb." Before she could finish, Harrison chimed in from upstairs on the computer, "Oh my word, yes! That thing drives me crazy."

I knew instantly what they were talking about. Lisa had mentioned it to me a couple of days before. The fluorescent light at the top of the pantry was flickering, a sure sign the bulb was going bad and about to go out. In the mean time, all it did was flicker--annoyingly. So, as you stood there trying to examine the shelves for what you were looking for, you were going crazy with the inconsistent flickering of a light gone bad.

That story came to my mind a few minutes ago as I looked at a verse sitting on my desk:

You are the light of the world....let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14, 16 NIV

Rather than resolutions this time of year, maybe what we should ask ourselves is "Who do I really want to be? What is it that really matters most to me? What kind of relationships do I want? What behaviors do I desire in my life? What do I want to be known for at the end of my life? How can I live with no regrets?" These are the kinds of questions that lead us to real, permanent change. The kind of change that allows your light to be more permanent, displaying God's grace consistently. Not a flickering annoyance to a world that is watching. I want to close with some words from Billy Graham that a friend shared with me this morning.

“With the New Year before us let us prepare ourselves for spiritual battle. Let Christ be more than mere sentiment. Away with pretense and half-heartedness. Away with compromises and defections. Away with faith that awakens only on holidays. Away with faith that is as flimsy and as seasonable as tinsel. These are days of emergency. The trumpet call is sounding. He that puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God. Let’s put our lives on the line for Jesus Christ. Nothing short of this will do.”

This one's for the men...

2011-01-05T10:07:00.002-06:00

...and for the wives who choose to read it.

There's an old Spanish proverb that says, "He who does not honor his wife dishonors himself." God chose to put it this way in Ephesians: No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church.

Here is my challenge guys. While you are thinking about new year's resolutions like eating right and exercising more, how about adding in another one that is far more important...treat your wives with respect.

Now, before you back off and think I am preaching, I'm not. Did you hear me? I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to us. One of the things I'm learning about myself is that I can start to take this gift from God (Lisa) for granted. I forget that she has needs, that she's different from me, that she deserves my very best. It's easy to turn the focus on myself and even fall into the trap of a "pity-party" because I don't think she is treating me fairly.

The relationship that God designed for men and women is one of mutual respect and submission. Yes, I believe that God desires for men to lead their families. But I don't believe that means you have any extra rights or special privileges. Rather, it means you have added responsibilities as the leader of your wife and children.

I've heard for years how Christianity is a male-dominated faith and that it keeps women suppressed. NOTHING could be further from the truth. From the moment Jesus' ministry began, He started the long process of elevating women to a place of honor and respect. He battled the cultural norms of his day to establish women as something of major worth in the eyes of their Creator.

What that means for us guys is this...if we are going to follow Christ, we must do the same. Your wife is not a "ball-and-chain," she's your partner, your mate and friend. Women are not objects to be desired, subjects to be controlled or servants to take care of your needs. They are--as all people are--precious people created in the image of God.

As a dad in the 21st century, I have to work hard to monitor my attitude towards Lisa and all women. I have to be careful what I teach my son and challenge him to be Christ-like in his treatment of women. Let me tell you, it's not an easy battle. But it's the right thing to do if I am going to be found as a true Christ follower and ask him to do the same.

Ask yourself today, how can I better focus on my wife and her needs? How can I give her the respect that she deserves and God desires? This is a resolution you will not regret.

Grace-healed eyes

2011-01-04T14:28:00.002-06:00

I've said before that compassion was not my strong suit before the accident. I used to jokingly tell people that God gave me Sarah to be my soft, compassionate side because I had very little to spare. It's not that I was ever mean or cold. I just tended to see things in a very black and white way with little room for grace. As much as it pains me to say this, I was better talking about the love of Christ for hurting people than I was at living it.

April 9th, 2004 changed that. My own personal journey from that day forward took me to depths of sorrow and heights of anger that I never knew existed in me. I experienced ranges of emotions that were far beyond anything I had known before that day. And God used the accident to do something new in me.

My eyes were slowly opened to the Jesus of Scripture. Isaiah described Him as a "man of sorrows" and a suffering servant. The Gospels showed Him to be friendly with sinners and those in need. In all of Jesus' life, the grace of God was on display as He walked the hillsides of Galilee and the streets of Jerusalem.

The events of my life have taught me that God desires we display His grace in the same way.

Philip Yancey puts it this way. "Because God loves the poor, the suffering, the persecuted, so should we. Because God sees no undesirables, neither should we. By his own example, Jesus challenged us to look at the world through...'grace-healed eyes.'"

God is teaching me--patiently, I might add--to do that very thing. I can understand pain now in a way I never had before. I know what it means to question God, to doubt your faith and to wonder about everything your parents ever taught you. In the weeks after the accident, I yelled at God, screamed "unfair" and debated him much like David and Job. What happened in the process was that God softened my heart to see others through those "grace-healed eyes."

I believe Yancey's on to something. Lack of compassion may be one of the top reasons why the world runs when they see the church coming "to the rescue." It may be the very reason that the hooker, the single mom, the harried businessman and the doubting teens of our world are looking everywhere but the church for answers. The question "does God really care" should be answered with a resounding "YES" by the hearts of those who are willing to show their own scars and reveal their own stories of healing.

You have them too, you know. The sins forgiven. The burdens lifted. The fears washed away. The doubts silenced. The conflicts that have been given peace. Each one bears testimony to a God who not only cares...but cares very deeply. Show the world your scars...and let them know your Healer.

Goals

2011-01-03T09:34:00.002-06:00

Welcome to 2011! If you are like most Americans, you've been thinking a great deal about this new year over the last several days. Whether you call them goals or resolutions or just reflections, there is something to be said for taking the time to look ahead and think about what the new year may hold for you. For me--and maybe for you--the great challenge is diminishing the gap between my goals for 2011 and God's plans for me. A lot of times, I feel like I'm right on target with what God has for me when He will says, "Surprise! Guess what? I've got more in store for you than you thought?" Isn't it funny how much we underestimate God's desires for us and His ability to pull them off? So, I thought I'd share a few of God's promises for you based on what Scripture says. Maybe it will help you to raise the bar in your planning and dreaming for 2011:

Speak boldly to others about your faith this year. God's promise (Isaiah 55:11) is that His word will not return empty but will accomplish exactly what He desires in His time.
Stand firmly against the trials that will come into your life this year. If you stand in God's power, He has promised that nothing can overcome you (Isaiah 54:17 and 1 John 4:4)
God is still at work in your life no matter where you are or what you are up against. If you are trusting in Him and following after Him, He has promised to bring your life to perfection (Philippians 1:6). That's right...perfection!
Trust God with your plans...big and small. Know that He rewards those who seek after Him. (Hebrews 11:6)
God has a plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11). He always has. But you have to believe that His plan is better and bigger than the ones you have for yourself (Ephesians 3:20).
Let God's word guide you as you dream about the future. His Word will never steer you into wasted agendas or pointless daydreaming (Psalm 119:1-8...actually the whole chapter).

Let me just encourage you with some final words. Live passionately. Love deeply. Seek knowledge. Serve others. And believe with all your heart that God has something big for you in 2011. No matter how it started, the next 362 days can be the best you have ever experienced.

Christmas

2010-12-23T09:23:00.003-06:00

In case you haven't heard or don't have children to constantly remind you, there's only two days till Christmas. Another year has passed and we arrive again at the threshold of the celebration of Christ's birth. It is, for most of us, the most joyous occasion of the year as we remember God's arrival on the scene of humanity.

For most of us...

As I sat and thought about my writing this morning, there were many others who came to mind who might not find this Christmas so joyous. I think about my friend who is about to lose his wife after a brief marriage. Another friend has just found out that her father has cancer though they don't know to what extent. One young mother will spend yet another Christmas alone watching her kids celebrate. She feels all alone in the world because of the hand that life has dealt her. Many families this Christmas will have a vastly different Christmas than in years past as the economy has taken their ability to celebrate in the traditional ways. And who can forget the millions of men and women serving our country overseas this time of year? Their sacrifices are great...not the least of which is being away from their families as we do Christmas in the comfort and security of our homes.

But Christmas will be merry nonetheless. Because Jesus came for these very reasons. He came for the lost, the hopeless, the frail and the sick. He came to bring peace and joy and love. He "made himself nothing" and "took the nature of a servant" so that we can have joy in spite of the circumstances of our life.

For each of you who are struggling this Christmas because of death or sickness or insecurity or loss, please know that the Barrons, as part of their holiday celebration, will be lifting you up to God. Though your pain is real and heart felt, God knows your heart and has promised to never leave of you. For those of you who don't find yourself at this place, I invite you to reach out to others this Christmas. Instead of wishing them a Merry Christmas, how about doing what you can to make it one for them?

This may be my last blog for 2010 unless I try to slip one in next week. Instead of sending Christmas cards this year, our family decided to use the money that we would have spent to bless some families that are in need this season (more, it seems, than in years past). So, I didn't want my friends and family to think they had been left out or forgotten. We just decided that God would probably desire this more than one more picture of the Barron family hanging on your door. So, in place of our card, here is our prayer for you...

May the joy and meaning of the first Christmas season surprise you this holiday season. May the stockings and gifts and dinners and decorations fade in comparison to the glory of that first Christmas night. Behold, a Savior has been born!! And it is no small deal that this Child shall save you...yes, you...from your sins if you will only bow to Him as shepherds and Magi did.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. The Barrons.

Knowing When

2010-12-20T08:17:00.002-06:00

The ride to work started simply enough this morning but took an unexpected twist. I had to run Harrison by the school for a basketball clinic that the team is doing today. Our conversation turned to his upcoming birthday. In just twenty days, he will be turning 16. (I can't imagine where all the time has gone but that is a blog for another day.) We've talked about this subject off and on for the last several months as he has been practicing his driving with me. He expressed a little frustration with me (just as Morgan did when she turned 16).

You see, in the Barron household, turning 16 doesn't mean you are ready to drive just like walking into a garage doesn't make you a car. I don't believe, just because a person goes to bed one age and wakes up the next morning a different one, that it means that he is ready for the responsibility of driving a several thousand pound vehicle. Harrison is mostly very responsible. He keeps his room very clean. He has continued to keep his grades high (though daddy believes they could be higher) while being in Honors classes. He has managed his schedule with his other responsibilities. And he has completed 10 months of learner's driving with only two scares and, more importantly, no accidents. He is, in my mind, a very good kid.

But what I was trying to share with him this morning was the importance of good choices all the time. As I told him, all it takes is a few seconds of distraction or one time when your friends convince you to try something stupid. It can ruin your life or worse...end it.

We had arrived at school by this point and it was time for him to get out. As I looked at him, his head was hanging and he was looking a little defeated--not the way I wanted to leave him. I told him I loved him as he got out of the truck but his demeanor let me know he was still a little down. Here's where the unexpected turn came. As I drove away, I texted him. I told him how much I loved him and how proud I was of him. I told him that I just didn't want him behind the wheel of a vehicle until he was ready to take complete control. Then...I told him I had already buried one son, I was in no hurry to bury another. Unexpectedly, tears filled my eyes most of the way to work.

Knowing when to let go of this kid, as well as the other three, has been tough. He will gain instant freedoms he never had the day he gets that license and the truck he has been saving money for. And I know it's not fair to make him pay for the accident that wrecked our lives 6 years ago. But its hard not to be afraid sometimes. When I look at Harrison, I see me. I see this kid with all the potential and promise in the world. I have spent many hours praying and loving and arguing and hugging and wrestling....you get the picture. I want him to be a man...but only when he is ready. I just pray I'll know when.

Happy Meals and an Unhappy Mom

2010-12-16T13:08:00.002-06:00

I couldn't resist the urge to comment on this news from yesterday. Apparently, the Center for Science in the Public Interest has convinced a lady in San Francisco to file suit against McDonald's and their Happy Meals. It seems that McDonald's has a sinister, evil plan to (gasp) sell fast food burgers to children. The 41 year old state employee has reportedly said, "We have to say no to our kids so many times and McDonald's makes that so much harder to do. I object to the fact that McDonald's is getting into my kids' heads without my permission and actually changing what my kids want to eat."

Are you kidding me? Re-read what this mom just said (with a straight face I might add). Of course you have to say "no" to your kids, lady. It comes with the job description of a parent. If I had a dollar for every time I have said no to my four kids I'd own McDonald's (although that may not be a good idea right now). Your job is to raise your kids responsibly, not be their best friend.

Then she says it makes it "so much harder to do." Really? Poor little baby. Can't stand up to your children. I feel like the guy in the Geico commercial now..."maybe we should stroll on over to namby-pamby land" and get you some guts for parenting. News alert to our friend from San Francisco (which should have been our first clue that there was something wrong), parenting is hard. It is not for the weak of heart nor is it for those who want to avoid difficult situations.

Lastly, she adds that they get inside the kids head with their advertising. Excuse me, isn't that what advertising is supposed to do? If she wins this lawsuit, I'm suing Ford for making me want a new truck, M&Ms for making me give in to my chocolate addiction and P90X for making me believe I could have that stupid beach body thing they talk about. While we're at it, let's just sue all the advertisers who reach out to our kids and remove all responsibility from our shoulders.

Here's a great idea for this lady (and anyone else who cares to listen). Don't take your kids to McDonald's. Even better, turn off the TV and make your kids go outside and play. This way, you take care of the healthy stuff and the "awful advertising plot" with one wide stroke of genius (or should I say, responsible parenting). Leave the Happy Meals alone and let McDonald's sell what they choose. If you and I start parenting like we should and stop buying the crap inside the box, McDonald's will get the hint and start serving asparagus burgers or whatever else is good for us. But don't sue the guys for selling their product. It's not their fault that Junior has gotten soft around the middle...or that you have gotten soft between the ears.

Obsession

2010-12-15T14:03:00.002-06:00

I've been known to enjoy a little chocolate from time-to-time. Not any of that dark junk that tastes like it's been sprayed with a household cleaner before they wrapped it. No. Just the really good stuff you find in chocolate chip cookies, wrapped around raisins or--my favorite this time of year--in the best of homemade fudges. (Personally, I don't know how any one could ever taste a really good homemade fudge and ever question whether or not God loves you and has a purpose for your life).

But I also know there is this nasty little inconvenience that the chocolate I eat may have something to do with the extra weight I carry around. At this point, it's just a rumor, but I have to act with the information I am given. So, I'm doing my best to cut down on the chocolate. There was a time when I could sit and eat a half pound bag of M&Ms without thinking about it. Now, just the thought of M&Ms causes my waistline to grow and my blood pressure to climb. Those nasty little inconveniences.

Seriously, I know I can't have everything I want. Every choice I make has repercussions. Chocolate covered pretzels or fruit? Chocolate donut for breakfast or oatmeal and raisins? I know what my heart says but I also know what my scales are telling me. I'm just not able to have it all. If I choose to eat turtle cheesecake for supper tonight, I should expect to regret the results when I step on the scales tomorrow. If I skip, it'll be much easier to live with the results.

But it's no different than any other choice we make. Chocolate, in and of itself, is not bad. It's the volume of chocolate I'd like to consume. Alcohol in the massive quantities Americans drink, is the reason for many of the crimes we face today. TV, video games, food, email...all of these things are good things that become terribly bad when we choose to ignore the news that we have had too much.

I was reminded over lunch today with a great friend of mine there is one obsession that trumps them all. Its the one thing that, with time, can literally kill us. The ripple effects from too much of this good thing can bring down a family, destroy an empire, ruin a relationship or send nations to war.

It's an obsession with...self. That's right. You and I become too consumed with ME. And when we do, we lost our perspective. We start to demand our rights. We start to ignore the needs of others. We become "me-aholics." The greatest damage being our relationship with God is ruined. Let me remind you today--this season--get your focus off of you and back on God. I promise you you'll find it easier to live with the results if you do.

New

2010-12-14T13:55:00.002-06:00

The first Christmas without Sarah and Josh was surreal. Even eight months after the accident, I would catch myself thinking that the door would swing open and the two of them would walk back in, ending the horrible nightmare.

The kids and I had moved back to Franklin to start Ridgeview Church. Since our arrival, we had busied ourselves with the business of starting new schools, planting our church, and reconnecting with old friends. But as those last few days before Christmas began to wind down, I found myself missing them more and more. Pulling out the decorations was a bittersweet moment as I re-lived the memories behind many of the decorations. I thought back to the Christmas before--just four months before the accident--how insulated we were from the pain that was going to follow. It was an amazing Christmas in 2003...far different than what we would feel in 2004.

But we made it. And after it was all said and done, I remember thinking how it had not been as bad as I had prepared myself for. There were new traditions to be started, a new house that provided opportunities for new decorating ideas. Don't get me wrong. There were moments that gave our hearts pause, to be sure. But the overwhelming thought of that Christmas was this--God was still God. His plans for my life had never changed. And the trials that He had brought me to, He was more than capable enough to lead me through them. In God there is always the hope and promise of what He has planned.

There is power in that word "new." When you find yourself working through difficult times or severe trials, remember that God is in the business of new. Lamentations says that every day "His mercies are new." In Revelation, God says Himself that He makes all things new. And in "newness" there is hope and confidence and life.

That's why a new baby in Bethlehem brought new hope that first Christmas. And that message of good news has given hope to everyone since that day. And the new choices that lay before me and my family that first Christmas helped me to see beyond my present pain to a world of possibilities, all because of a God who specializes in "new."

Parentheses

2010-12-09T10:45:00.003-06:00

Have you ever thought about how much comfort is found in the first four words of the Bible? In the beginning, God...

Think about what that means, the power of that statement. Before anything and everything, there was God. There was this loving Creator with an awesome plan for you and for me. Beyond the intentionality of His creation, there is the comfort of knowing that nothing (despite what philosophers and modern scientists might say) is left to chance. God has gone before us.

Now, as if that wasn't enough, check out what the next-to-the-last verse of the Bible has to say. Yes, I am coming soon. Not only did God start this whole thing up, He Himself will bring it to its conclusion. He is the before and the after, the Alpha and Omega. The great Parentheses of life.

And in between is every thought, feeling, word and action that you and I will ever experience. There is nothing that escapes Him nor is there anything about our lives that surprises Him. My trials don't upset Him. My failures don't dethrone Him. When I wake up tomorrow, He will be there. If I don't wake up tomorrow, He will still be there. What comfort is gained from knowing that the One who was, is and always will be is looking out for me in every instance, every situation. I simply have to trust that He is at work, orchestrating the symphony of my life to make it a beautiful tune to bring Him glory. The only question that remains: will I trust Him enough to led Him lead me?

Your Cause

2010-12-08T14:48:00.003-06:00

I'm a very blessed man. I know that full well. Regardless of what my past has held for me or what future path my journey may take, I cannot deny that I have experienced the blessings of God. I have become more acutely aware of that over the years--partly due to maturity, partly due to the experience that years of ministry have brought me.

I guess that's why, this year, Lisa and I were confronted with a decision that God put right in our face. His Word is clear that to whom much is given, much is required. So I've been asking myself, "What is it that God would require of me?" I'm not entirely clear on that answer or all that it my entail. But I do know this (actually Lisa and I both do). God was telling us to trash our Christmas lists for each other and do something worthwhile with the money. Rather than adding another sweater to my shelf or some gadget that I may use twice a year, God said to both of us..."bring Me glory."

Now, hear me. I'm not writing this to make you feel guilty about what you have bought for your family or what you have put on your own list. I'm simply writing to tell you that God is asking me for more. And for the first time in my life...maybe, I'm listening.

My job? To find a worthy cause, a strong organization or some place in need of a little bit of financial help. Then, I'm going to take the money I would have spent on Lisa and bless someone else (after all, we've got each other and we don't need much more).The problem isn't finding a cause that's worth supporting or a need that is great. It's in narrowing it down to just one. So, I thought I'd ask you to consider the same. Together, we can all take $10 or $20 (some of us can do much more) to bless some organization that is answering the call of Christ. If you need help finding one that meets your passion, just send me an email. I'll be glad to help. One by one we can all rearrange our priorities to answer the command of Christ.

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Matthew 25:35-36 NIV

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27 NIV

Teaching...and learning

2010-12-07T13:01:00.003-06:00

Holidays bring with them a multitude of emotions. I thought about that as I rode to work this morning. Another Christmas is upon us. Decorations are up and gifts have been purchased ahead of time at the Barron household. The ride into work reveals church after church offering their version of a Christmas program.

I thought back to the last Christmas we had together as a family before the accident. It was Josh's second. Just four short months before his life would end he was busily scurrying from present to present in our den floor. First his brother, then his sister--from person to person he would race to help rip off the paper and see what was inside. His favorite toy that year was a riding one, one of those with the long handle on the back that would enable mom and dad to push him around the neighborhood as we walked. That morning, as the gift was opened, he plopped himself onto the toy...and just sat. That's it. He didn't know exactly what to do but that was okay for him. He just liked sitting. And when Abby or Harrison would go to give him a push, he would look with skepticism as the toy began to move. Sitting was just fine for him.

Both siblings worked hard that day to teach Josh how to move his leg and propel the toy himself. It was pretty comical but I worked with him for a little while to learn how to sit up, push with his legs and hang onto the steering wheel. I loved teaching him things. I always did with all my kids.

In fact, the night before our accident, I had spent the evening at the hotel swimming pool teaching Josh how to hold his breath, duck his head under the water and act like a motor boat. He was a pretty quick learner.

Those thoughts continued to swim through my head as I remembered teaching Josh how to throw a ball and to blow bubbles with his wand. Then this question came to mind. Call it crazy or whatever. Do you think Josh is looking forward to a day when he will get to teach me? I mean, by the time I make it to heaven, he is going to have many years experience on his old man. I can just see him running up, grabbing my hand and saying, "Dad, you won't believe this place? It's better than anything you could have imagined. I can't wait to show you around."

Is it crazy to think such thoughts...to have such high hopes for the day that I'll get to see he and Sarah and my dad and my niece and my grandmother and all those others who have gone before me? I believe with all my heart that he's there, that they all are. And I believe he is waiting anxiously to show me the whole place...but one place in particular. I imagine he can't wait--and I can't wait to join him--to show me into the presence of the One who gave us life and, then, gave us new life. In my mind I see Josh pulling me by my sleeve into the presence of Jesus. But for now, I can only imagine...

With us

2010-12-06T08:26:00.003-06:00

I'm meditating on one word this morning, one very powerful word. It's been a part of my reading the last couple of days and it, probably more than any other word, signifies what this season of the year is all about.

Emmanuel...which means "God is with us."

The fact that God pays any attention to us at all is significant. Unlike the people of Israel, we have lost reverence for the person of God. His character seldom inspires us to great things. His name is no longer sacred. The idea that He is watching over us brings little fear to our hearts. So, just the reality that He cares at all about what we are or what we become is worth every ounce of thanks we can squeeze from our being.

But God was not content enough to be "God over us" or "God for us" or "God who made us." No. God's passion for us drove Him to the decision that nothing less than "God with us" would do.

Think about the implications. Paul sure did in in Philippians 2:

...(Jesus) being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!

What Paul was saying and what I'm trying to put my mind around this morning is this: the Supreme Being of the universe--the One whose breath gave us meaning and life and purpose--took our flesh upon Himself, along with our sin, so that we could have relationship with Him. Let that sink in for a second. Let it soak down to the very core of your bones--the ones He gave you. And then, ask yourself if you would have done the same if you were Him?

Tiny infant of Bethlehem. Milky soft skin. Fragile nature, meek and mild. Powerless to do anything at all...but save the world!

That's the power of Emmanuel!